Mirrored temptations
by jelly4ever
Summary: I've decided to hit you all up with yet another "jelly" story.. Something a little different this time .. I'm taking it away from hollyoaks and the storylines they provided.. Hope you enjoy .. Leave me a little review to let me know what you think x
1. Chapter 1

SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT..  
STILL A JELLY STORY BUT I WANNA FORGET ABOUT THE WHOLE HOLLYOAKS STORY LINE...  
BECAUSE BASICALLY IT WAS A SHIT ENDING ...

HOPE YOU ENJOY AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK X

Tilly and Jane ...

Tilly was a 22year old junior doctor from Chester.. after bagging herself a place at university .. She moved to London .. Entering the world of adulthood . Not knowing anyone other then her friend George from back home .

The two moved in together for a short time helping each other find their feet.. After 6 months George was offered a fashion apprenticeship on the other side of London forcing him to move out .. As time went by the friends saw less of each other.. This giving Tilly the motivation to get out and meet new friends

Tilly's university credits helped her gain a job at her local A&E.. Not the path she wanted to head in but never less an amazing opportunity for someone so young ...

Whist working there she became good friends with Sarah ..

Sarah was lively and energetic.. She gave Tilly an insight into just how amazing it was to be young free and single in one of the most amazing cities in the world ..

They worked hard and partied even harder ..

Life was good for the red head ..

Jane was older then Tilly .. She worked as an estate agent .. Her and Tilly met when Tilly needed to find a new apartment .. Tilly instantly fancied Jane and after finding the perfect home she bit the bullet and asked Jane out for a drink ..

Jane then 26 was still partly in the closet .. She moved to London from Plymouth .. Her family were unaware of her life choices .. Being in London meant she was able to be herself without feeling ashamed..

It had been 2 years since they met .. And although they had become close and things seemed to be going from strength to strength Tilly was still reluctant to move in with Jane..

I just don't get what the big deal is? Jane huffed .. I mean we practically spend most nights together .. I don't see the point in paying separate rent and bills ..

Jane we've been through this.. Tilly moaned .. I like having my own place .. Plus I can't be dealing with the stress of selling my flat ..

I told you I'll take care of it all" Jane said.. You won't have to do anything ..

Tilly rolled her eyes ..

Noticing Tilly's annoyance Jane sighed .. Ok well how about renting it out?

No... Tilly shook her head .. What's the rush .? What's wrong with how things are?

Nothing wrong .. I just .. Well I just think we should move up a level .. Jane sulked ..

Tilly kissed Janes cheek... We don't need to move up a level .. We are fine where we are..

Jane shrugged she knew Tilly wasn't budging..

Ok how about I rent my place out ?

Tilly slammed her bag on the side .. Jane for god sake.. Can we just leave it .. Why do you constantly push this ... I said no..

Fine .. Jane snapped .. I'm going to work.. She said as she stormed out of the flat..

Tilly knew Jane just wanted to invest more into their relationship but Tilly had always been cautious ..

Jane still hadn't been honest with her family and Tilly felt from time to time she was her dirty little secret..

Her family knew Tilly as janes "good friend " a label that didn't bowed well with Tilly ..

There was no way Tilly was willing to give up what she had to live with a women who was still hiding who she was..

Tilly loved Jane but her inability to be " out" did cause issues .. On the odd occasion Janes family visited Tilly would make herself scares.. And Jane would always visit them alone..

Invites to family weddings , Parties and Even holidays would always come addressed to Jane and guest .. Yet Jane was never brave enough to take Tilly ..

Apart from that their lives were pretty good...

Jane was busy at work.. She had viewing all morning .. Once back in the office she slumped down at her desk...

Agghhhhhhhh" she groaned placing her head on the desk..

Whaaaaat? Came a growl from behind a computer screen ..

I'm having a shitty day" Jane sulked.. Why can't people just decided on a place when they see it? why do they make you show them 2 millions houses before they decide they want the first one?

Because my dear that's how this business goes .. Laugh Cara..

Cara was Janes work colleague.. She had come to work for Jane after they met in a gay bar 3 years before.. They had become friend after Jane confided in her about her fear of being fully " open" ..

Yeah well I hate people" Jane laughed under her grumble ..

Yeah?.. So what else is eating you ? Cara asked knowing janes mood wasn't all down to a fussy client ..

Jane shook her head .. Ooh I had a bit of a set two with Tilly this morning ..

Ouch ! Cara teased..

Mmmmm" Jane moaned .. She's just so hell bent on us not living together.. I don't get it ..

Why what's she said ?

No mainly .. Jane moaned with a little giggle ..  
Every time I mention renting one of our places out .. She gets all moody about it ..

Dunno what her problem is..

Cara tutted shaking her head .. Nothing to do with the fact your a secret lesbian then? She joked ..

Jane threw at pen at her laughing friend .. Piss off .. It's only my family .. And how often do I see them ?

Your family ..your old friends .. Everybody you know outside of London ..

Yeah ok .. Point taken.. I know it's not ideal but well.. Oh I don't know I just can't tell them.. Jane sulked ..  
I know I shouldn't care if they approve or not but well... I do ..

Not a conversation you should be having with me " cara stated holding her hands in the air..

It's your choice .. She added ..

God I need a drink .. Jane said pinching the bridge of her nose..

Yeah let's .. Cara cheered . How about me .. You .. Tilly and Jen go for a drink?

Aaah . Jen ? Jane smiled .. Still on the scene aye? .  
What's that now ? 6 months ?

Yep.. Cara nodded ..

Record for you I'm sure! Jane teased ..

Excuse me.. Cara said sarcastically .. It's not my fault I have a habit of attracting the wrong females .. However I think I've don't alright with Jen ..

Well you ain't dumped her yet" Jane laughed ..

Hey I maybe a little loose .. Cara joked pointing her finger towards Jane . And I may not stay with someone to long ..

But... And it is a very big but... At lease I'm out loud and proud ..

Jane grinned .. I hate you ..

Yeah you and half of the lesbian community in London .. What can You do aye? .. She laughed ..

Seriously though ! You seem to really like her ..

Cara nodded .. I do .. She's good looking .. She's successful .. She's intelligent .. She likes a drink annnnd she's good in the sack .. What's not to like ?

Cara and Jen ..

Cara and Jen met through a mutual friend fixing them up ..

Jen was a 26 year old Art Teacher at a prestigious collage of fine arts..  
She was newly single when she was introduced to cara by her best friend Hayley..

Hayley knew Jen was out for fun and thought cara would be ideal.. She wasn't the settling down type and was happy to just "see" Jen from time to time ..

A few weeks in Jen and cara began seeing a lot more of each other then either had planned .. Before they knew it weeks had turned into months .. Neither one of them over analysing it .there was no label to their relationship ... They both just decided to let things happen naturally ..

Jen liked her own space and cara liked her party lifestyle .. They weren't the kind of couple who spent everyday together ..

They pretty much had nothing in common .. Jen was a deep thinker and liked to read .. Where as cara worked all week to pay for the weekend .. Some how it worked ..

So? Double date ? Cara asked ..

Jane shrugged .. I'll have to text and ask Tilly but yeah... Why not !


	2. Chapter 2

Jen sat looking around the busy waiting room .. When her phone beeped ..

Drinks tonight ? Me,you, Jane and her misses? Yes?

Jen rolled her eyes.. Typical it was Friday and Cara wanted to hit a pub ..

Miss I don't feel to good!

Jen stroked the back of the boy sat next to her .. Do you feel sick?

The boy had hit his head during a P.E lesson and Jen just so happened to to the only teacher with a free afternoon .. Which to her annoyance meant a few hours stuck in A&E ..

No... I feel dizzy though ! The boy moaned.

Ok let me ask when your going to be seen..

Just as Jen stood up his name was called ..

Thomas stokes?

Jen looked over at the person calling his name ..  
Yes.. She called out helping the boy to his feet ..

The nurse directed them into a cubicle .. The doctor won't be long .. She smiled .

Good timing huh? Jen smiled

Miss.. I'm gonna be... Before the boy could finish his sentence he puked all over the floor .. Missing Jens shoes by an inch ..

Greaaaaaaat! She sulked handing his a disposable bowl in case he needed it again..

Excuse me .. She called out as the nurse from before walked by..

We've uh.. Had a little accident .. She nodded towards the mess on the floor ..

Oh dear.. The nurse frowned .. Not to worry I'll take care of that ...

And we will pop in to this cubicle .. Came a voice behind the nurse ..

Jen looked up and was instantly taken back by the huge smile that greeted her..

Tom or Thomas?

Thomas smiled .. Tom is fine thanks

Tom it is then .. Ok So I'm Doctor Evans.. I'll be taking care of you today..

And you are? She asked in Jens direction ..

Oh uh.. I'm Jen Gilmore.. Uh Tom's teacher ..

Tilly smiled.. Right so it says here in my notes you hit your head on the concrete in P.E?

Yeah .. Playing basket ball .. Tom explained ..

Tilly looked over at Jen while she checked toms blood pressure..

Would have you down for a P.E teacher . She joked noticing Jens clothing was exactly sporty ..

Jen laughed .. Uh no .. No I'm not.. I'm a Art teacher .. I was the only one without classes this afternoon and well Tom's parents can't be contacted ..

Short straw huh? Tilly winked  
As she shined a light into Toms eyes .. Asking him to follow her finger ..

As Tilly continued her checks Jen couldn't help but smile.. Realising every now and again she was checking out the doctor .. Trying her hardest to stop incase she got caught Jen looked around the room..

Ok Tom.. You seem to be in good shape.. Tilly smiled.. I think you might just have a little concussion but to be on the safe side I'll send you down for a head scan.. Make sure your brains still intact ... She joked.

Doesn't his parents have to be here for something like that? Jen panicked ..

Tilly laughed .. It's no different to an X-ray.. It will take 5 minutes..

As the nurse began to wheel Tom out of the cubicle Jen stopped him..

Do you want me to come with you ?

Tom shook his head .. Nah I'm cool..thanks

That left Jen and Tilly alone...

He's cool.. Jen mocked..

Tilly laughed.. To cool to be seen with his teacher ..

Jen slumped in the chair .. I'm just glad no one assumed I was his mother ..

Tilly laughed as she wrote notes down for Toms medical file .. I'm pretty sure it's plain to see your defiantly not his mother ..

Thank god.. Jen laughed ..

Tilly looked over at the brunette.. She wasn't as worried as Jen.. She gave her the once over and took her time in doing it ..

Yes Tilly was in a relationship but in her eyes there was nothing wrong with looking ..  
And look she did .. Tilly thought Jen was beautiful .. Yes her dress sense screamed teacher but her beauty shined through ..

Jen bit her lip slightly blushing as Tilly's eyes burn through her ..

So uh.. It's busy here today huh?

Mmmmmm" Tilly nodded continuing to write.. Like most days..

Long hours ?

Yup" Tilly smiled as she closed the file .. To long ..

Oooo.. A menace on your social life I would imagine .. Jen blurted out.. Instantly realising she was digging for info on the red head ..

Tilly laughed .. Social life? What's one of them .. ?

Jen wanted to know more about this young doctor.. Even though she was "dating someone" it hadn't crossed her mind that she was doing anything wrong ..

Sooo you actually never go out?

Not really" ..Tilly shrugged .. No one actually tells you when you become a doctor you say goodbye to your real life ..

Oooooo ".. I bet your boyfriend hates that! Jen asked digging for clues..

Tilly looked straight at Jen smiling whist biting her lip.. .. I don't have a boyfriend ..

Oh! Jen grinned.. Guess being a doctor really does take over your life ..

It's not that " Tilly laughed..I don't have a boyfriend because .. Well because they're not my type.. If u get my meaning..?

Jens eyes widened ..Tom appeared from behind the curtain before Jen would react..

Uh the nurse said to give u this' he said handing Tilly a folder..

Ok.. She smiled having a look inside .. As she studied the file she smiled .well my prediction was correct .. Your brain is still intact .. She joked..

I would say you can head home and rest up .. Take it easy over the weekend and I'm sure your be ok for school Monday ..

Tom groaned under his breath..

Hard life aye kid? Jen joked picking up hers and toms bag.. Let's get out of here and leave the doctor to get on with her day...

Thank you .. Tom nodded as he walked away ..

If you tell his parents to keep an eye on him .. Make sure he drinks plenty and rests..

Will do .. Jen smiled .. Thank you

No problem.. Tilly smiled biting her lip.. It was uh... Nice to meet you ..

Jen blushed.. You too..

Once Jen was gone Tilly checked her phone after it had vibrated in her pockets earlier on..

Drinks with Cara and her "friend" later if your not still in a mood with me?

Tilly rolled her eyes replying quickly ..

Send me details and I'll meet you there x

Well least she ain't in a mood with me" Jane smiled .. Tills is gonna meet us later .

Cool! Cara nodded .. Jens picking me up ..

Might as well come with you two then" Jane suggested ..


	3. Chapter 3

Jen ,Cara and Jane arrived at the pub . It was quiet for a Friday evening .. Not that any of them minded.. A nice relaxing atmosphere was just what they needed after a busy week..

Cara and Jane headed to the bar while Jen popped to the toilet..

Jesus Cara .. I forgot how gorgeous Jen was... Jane laughed ..

Cara frowned .. Dunno why your so surprised.. I don't do ugly .. She laughed ..

Yeah well let's hope you "actually " stick with this one aye?

Cara nudged her friend .. Jen and I have fun .. We ain't serious ..

Yeah but your exclusive aren't ya?

Cara shrugged .. We are what we are.. I mean who's to say what tomorrow brings ..

Jane looked at cara unsure of what she was saying ..

Jen and I .. We.. We're a like.. Cara explained .. She's .. We... Are the kind of people that don't like to feel crowded

Crowded? Jane repeated..

Yeah .. The way we are leaves out the pressure.. I'm not saying I'm looking to sleep with other people but we are way off being in a "relationship"

Jane shook her head .. Your a weirdo

I know .. Shhhh she's coming back ..

Ok what we drinking then? Jen asked as she approached the bar..

Something large.. Jane smiled..

Tough day? Jen asked

Ha .. Cara mocked .. That and she's had a barny with the wife ..

It wasn't a barny .. Jane snapped.. It was a difference of opinion .. Anyways we're ok now .. And don't mention it when tills gets here..

Yeah sir.. Cara saluted playfully ..

20 mins after they arrive James phone beeps ..

Ah finally .. She's on her way .. I gotta get her a drink in.. You two want another one?

Same again.. Cara smiled passing Jane her glass..

Jen?

Oh I shouldn't really I'm driving ..

Oh don't be boring .. Leave the car here .. Cara said ..

Oh ok.. One more. Jen smiled

Good girl .. Let's get pissed.. Cara grinned leaning in to kiss Jen ..

No let's not .. Jen frowned.. I'm not leaving my car here.. I'll have that one and that's it ..

Cara rolled her eyes .. Ok so let's drop the car off then and come back ?  
Cara.. Jen raised her eyebrows... I have a mountain of essays to mark and I don't want to be stuck doing it all weekend..

Jane arrived back placing the drinks on the table ..what did I miss?

Jen being boring.. Cara moaned ..

Jen being sensible she means .. Jen answered... I don't want to leave my car here sooo I'm not getting drunk..

Oh.. Well your not alone .. Tills got hers too.. Jane smiled sipping her drink ..

Talk of the devil .. Cara said pointing to the car park ..

Jen looked Over curiously.. She had only met Jane a handful of times and she was always alone ..  
Meeting her partner was a first ..

As Jen looked out of the window a smile creeped over her face ... What were the chances she thought ?

Hey .. Sorry I'm late .. Tilly apologised walking through the pub .. Her eyes instantly finding Jens ..

Uh .. Hello? Jane said pointing to her lips ..

Tilly felt a little embarrassed but placed a small kiss on janes lips anyways ..

Tilly this is Jen.. Cara introduced the pair ..

Yeah .. We've uh.. Already meet" Tilly smiled..

Jane and Cara frowned..

What you know each other ? Jane asked slightly put out ..

Jen was in A&E this afternoon.. Tilly explained ..

What ? You never said ? Cara worried..

Jen laughed .. Not me.. One of my students hurt his head .. I had to take him to get a check up..

Yup and I just so happened to be on duty .. Tilly interrupted as she sipped her drink ..

Small world.. Cara laughed ..

Yeah.. Jen smiled directly at Tilly .. Yeah it is ..

The conversation ran smoothly with cara doing most of the talking ..

C'mon Jen .. One more drink ..

I'm driving ..

Leave the car.. Jane urged .. Let's make a night of it .. Tills?

Tilly shrugged .. I'm game..

Your going to leave your car here? Jen asked

Yeah it's all CCTVed .. It will be fine " Tilly answered ..

Well? Cara asked ..  
Jen sighed .. Ok .. You win..

Wooohooo.. Cara cheered " let's get some more drinks in ..

Cara and Jane went to the bar leaving Tilly and Jen alone ..

So was uh .. Tom ok? Tilly asked breaking the silence ..

Uh yeah.. I passed on your advise to his parents .. He wasn't overly happy when they told him no games console .. Jen laughed ..

Ouch .. Tilly grinned.. I'm probably not his favourite person now then..

Jen laughed ..

So teaching huh?

Jen nodded .. Not the coolest of jobs but I enjoy it ..

Ah I wouldn't say that .. Tilly smiled ..  
Teachers can make a big impact on a kids life ..

I like to think so .. Jen smiled ..

Jen .. Cara called out" you up for some shots?

Jen sighed .. If I must..

Tilly noticed Jen wasn't overly excited at the prospect of a full evenin of drinking ..

Not a drinker? She asked

Not at... 5.30pm.. She answers looking at her watch ..

I would have thought you would be on par with the party animal .. Tilly joked nodding towards cara..

Mmmm.. Jen muttered

Cara and Jane returned with a tray of different alcohol drinks ..

Bottoms up .. Cara laughed sinking a shot ..  
Jane laughed following suit .. Leaving Jen and Tilly to reluctantly join in ..

So what you two got planned for the weekend Jane asked ..

Dunno.. Cara shrugged..  
I have a mountain of essays to mark so that's pretty much me..

Borinnnnnnnng .. Cara laughed causing Jen to nudge her making her spill her drink ...

Oi.. Cara laughed .. What about you two?  
Jane looked over at Tilly to answer.

Well.. I have the weekend off finally so I was thinking of giving my flat a lick of paint ..

Jane grumbled under her breath .. Great ..

Uh. No one asked you to help.. Tilly sniped..

Cara laughed .. She would if you was packing though aye?

Tilly looked unamused at Jane .. She hated that she discussed their business ..

What? Jane fumed ...  
Tilly shook her head sinking the shot in front of her ...

Im going to the toilet .. She said as she left the table ..  
Jane threw a beer mat at her friend ..

Nice one .. I better go after her ..

Am I missing something ? Jen asked as she watched Jane follow Tilly ...

Cara laughed .. Well.. Short story is .. Jane wants Tilly to move in with her .. But Tilly won't .. She likes to have her own place ...

How long they been together?

About 2 years I think .. Cara answered .. Thing is Jane still has her foot in the closet .. She laughed .. Her family don't know she's a lesbian ..

Jen raised her eye brows.. After 2 years?

Yeah.. So you can see why the doc doesn't want to commit .. Cara laughed ...

Tilly and Jane returned ..

Everything ok? Cara asked ...

Yeah " Jane smiled . I was just telling Tilly how Jens an art teacher .. She's after some art work ain't ya babe?

Tilly just smiled..

I thought maybe you could help Tilly chose some.. She spoke in Jens direction ..

Yeah good Idea.. Cara smiled .. Jens got loads of stuff at her place ..

In fact why don't you help Tilly with her flat ..

Oh uh.. No don't be silly.. I couldn't ask her to do that " Tilly said ..

You don't mind so ya Jen? Jane asked ..

She's already said she has essays to mark ..

Yeah but that's not all weekend is it? Cara shrugged ..

Babe you don't mind do you?

Jen felt awkward.. I uh.. I could um...

That's settled then .. Jane clapped .. Jen can help you .. Saves me doing it..

Tilly smiled looking at Jen .. Part of her liked the idea of hanging out with Jen .. The other part of her worried it wasn't for the right reasons ..

The foursome called it a night around 12. 30 .. Cara urged Jen and Tilly to swap numbers so they could arrange a time to meet up to go looking for wall art ..

Right as these two are going to be busy over the weekend why don't me and you hit the shops? Jane asked cara..

Sounds like a plan to me .. Cara nodded..  
C'mon Jen I'm starving .. Let's get some good ..

So I'll uh... I text you I guess .. Tilly shrugged ..

Jen smiled.. Ok ..

As Jane and Tilly walked off linking arms Jane turned to Tilly ..

She's nice aye?  
Who? Tilly frowned..

Jen.. Jane laughed .. Jens really nice ..  
Uh yeah... Tilly nodded..

Babe your not mad me and cara suggested Jen helps you are ya? Jane worried..

I mean you said you wants some nice paintings and well she's in to all that ..

Tilly rolled her eyes.. No .. It's fine . She sighed ..

You sure?

Tilly smiled.. Yes I'm sure .. What's the worst that can happen?


	4. Chapter 4

Jen woke feeling groggy.. This was a recurring feeling after a night out with Cara...

Mornnnnnnning" Cara grinned as she bounced on to the bed

.. Aughhhhh go away" Jen moaned throwing the blanket over her head .

. Cara laughed .. Awww is someone hung over ?

Yeah because a certain someone makes me drink excessively . Jen snapped back ..

Ha... I don't " make" you drink .

. Jen threw the blanket back " oh no? .. Oh Jen .. Have some shots ? Oh Jen leave the car.. Jen don't be boring " ..

Cara laughed .. Well you can say no..

Whatever.. Jen rolled her eyes .. Where's my cup of coffee ?

Well .. Cara raised her eyebrows .. I can think of something better to cure that hang over .. She grinned as she climbed on top of Jen .

. Mmmmm" Jen smiled shifting underneath cara's weight .

. Maybe after.. Cara kissed Jen...I'll make you a coffee..

Jen laughed pulling cara down on her fully .. Kissing her fully on the mouth ..

Cara quickly took the lead sliding her hand up Jens top caressing her breast in her hand ..

As the moment heated up Jens phone began to ring ..

Leave it .. Cara whispered underneath their kiss ..

Jen tried to ignore it and concentrate on what Cara was doing on top if her but the phone hadn't stopped ringing ...

It must be important ..

They'll call back .. Cara replied placing he'd hand between Jens legs .

. Call back ? Jen giggled they haven't stopped calling ..

Cara sighed .. Fine .. Answer the poxy phone ..

Jen checked her phone not recognizing the number ..

Mmm... Hello?

Hey Jen" .. It's Jane .. Didn't wake you did I ?

Uh . No .. No coarse not .. Jen frowned confused as to why Jane would be calling her ..

Jane: good .. Ok so Tilly is being an idiot and won't call you .. She feels like she's putting you out with this how apartment decor stuff..

. Even though I told her you didn't mind .

. Cara looked curiously at Jen .. " who's that? She mouthed ..

Jen placed her hand over the phone... Jane.

. Jane? Cara frowned ..

Why she calling you ?

Jen waved her hand in the air as if to tell cara to wait ...

Jane: so I thought I'd call you instead .. She laughed .. Hope you don't mind ?

Jen: uh no .. She cleared her throat .. No it's fine .. Really

. Jane: great .. Well we know you have some school work to do but when you be a good time ?

Tilly's talking about heading out in a little while!

Jen : oh uh... Yeah I do have some stuff to do .. But um.. Well it's safe to say I don't have a clear head for it today ..

Jane: hung over aye?

Jen.. Mmmmm.

Jane: poor you .. She laughed ..

Ok so ? How about I bring tills over in about an hour ?

Jen : an hour ?

Cara begins to shake her head and hands ... No .. No .. Tomorrow .. Come over tomorrow .. She mouths ..

Jen rolls her eyes .. An hour is fine .. Ok see you then .. Bye..

What did you tell her that for ? Cara moaned ..

What was I meant to say ?

Uh piss off me and cara were about to get busy ? Cara suggested ..

Uh if I recall rightly .. you and Jane volunteered me to help Tilly today

Yeah later .. Not when I was hoping to get "some" .. Cara teased .

. Yeah well .. Jen laughed getting out of bed .. Your remember that next time you offer my services . Won't you?

It's your services I'm after .. Cara sulked lying on the bed ..

Jen" she called out . Come here?

I have to get ready " Jen called back from the bathroom.

. Noooooooo " Cara sulked come here .. Just for a minute .. I'll be real quick .. I swear ..

Jen appeared in the door way with a tooth brush in her mouth.. That's not exactly romantic now is it?

Cara pulled her top of revealing her bra ... We ain't about romance baby.. It's all about the " play time .. Come here" ? she beckoned with her finger

.. Jen scanned cara'a body contemplating the idea.. .. Mmmmm " nah .. But I'll have a coffee though .. She laughed walking back into the bathroom ..

You bitch .. Cara shouted ..

Who you talking to ? Tilly asked as she come down the stairs ..

Jen.. Jane said

Jen? Tilly frowned .

. Yeah cara'a girlfriend .. Fuck buddy .. Friend .. What ever she is .. I called her

.. What? How? I mean .. Why? Tilly asked

Well I got her number out your phone .. Jane shrugged .. You were ummmming and awwwing about calling her ..

So you go through my phone ? .. Tilly snapped grabbing it off the table .. Jane if I wanted to call Jen I would of .. I don't need you doing it on my behalf ..

Alright .. Jane moaned .. Calm down .. I was only trying to help .

. Well I don't need your bloody help .. Tilly was angry Jane had gone behind her back .

. Well you kept saying how she's probably busy and probably only offered because she felt she had too .

. No Jane .. You and cara offered not Jen .. She just agreed.. Probably because you made it awkward for her .. Tilly spat

That's not true! If she was busy she would of said ..

Tilly rolled her eyes .. She did say .. She said she was marking essays..

Yeah and she said on the phone she had a hang over and wouldn't be doing it today anyways " Jane shrugged .

. Oh so that makes what you did alright then ? Tilly said sarcastically ..

I can't win with you .. Jane huffed.. I try and do something nice and it's still not good enough .

. Well you shouldn't have bothered .. Tilly snapped back picking her keys up headin for the door ..

Where you going ?

Out ..tilly snapped

But I told Jen we would be over soon " Jane called out

.. Well now you can tell her that I don't appreciate my girlfriend going through my phone and taking it upon herself to plan my life for me .. Tilly said sarcastically as she slammed the door behind her ..

Jane shook her head .. She didn't understand what Tilly's problem was .. Part of her thought that maybe she was still annoyed at the whole moving in thing ..

Jen was ready and waiting for Jane and Tilly to arrive .

. Janes cars just pulled up" Cara States as she looks out the window .. Oh" she frowned . She's on her own..

Really? Jen asked looking out at the same view .. Where's Tilly then?

Cara shrugged .. We'll soon find out ..

Jane entered the flat with a sulk on ..

Where's Tilly ? Cara asked closing the door behind Jane

Ugh long story" Jane moaned .. Make me a cuppa .. ..

Jen made the coffees while cara grilled her friend

Jen entered the room picking up the conversation midway through

So I said oh I called Jen... And she went off on one .. Kicked off about me going through her phone and trying to run her life .. I was trying to help for god sake.

. Cara laughed under her breath .. So where she is now?

Couldn't tell you .. Oooh thanks Jen " Jane smiled taking the coffee..

And then she had a go at me about how Jen hadn't offered and how me and you volunteered her .. Jane continued looking at cara..

Aye!? She choked .. I only said Jen was into all that arty stuff ..didn't i ?

Well no actually .. Jen butted in .. Tilly is kind of right .. She laughed ..You two did actually volunteer me.

. Yeah but you would of said no if you didnt want to though wouldn't of you ?Jane asked

Jen nodded.. Sipping her coffee .. So she's not coming her then? Cara asked ..

Jane shrugged .. Dunno what she's bloody doing .

. Maybe I'll text her.. Jen said .. Let her know that I'm ok to help .. If she still wants me too .

. Giving the thumbs up ..Good thinking .. Jane smiled.. Oh uh don't tell her I'm here .. Don't want to be accused of making you text her

Jen just nodded her head as she left the room .. Scrolling her phone to find Tilly's name and number .. Biting jet thumb nail Jen types out a message ... Only to delete it .. Opting to send a short but sweet one instead ..

Coffee? Jen


	5. Chapter 5

Jen hoovered around the kitchen waiting for a reply ..

. Did you text her ? Cara asked as she brought the empty cups out..

Uh yeah .. Jen blushed jumping slightly ..

Well?

Oh uh.. I just said .. That I was free if she wanted to meet up .. Jen lied .. Uh I mean to go and look for paintings and that.

. Cara frowned . Noticing Jen a little flustered.. Ok .. She laughed .. Calm down..

What? Jen gaped .. I just meant that well I didn't want her to think Jane was here ..

Ok Jen .. Cara laughed again .. Did she reply ?

Jen shook her head .. Realising why Cara was laughing .. She was over explaining herself ..

She ain't replied .. Cara called out to Jane ..

Typical .. Jane fumed .. Right well I ain't going to sit here mopping about it .. Shell we go shopping ? Grab a lunch ? Pub style ...

Ha.. Cara clapped .. Liquid lunch sounds good to me .. Jenny?

Uh nah.. Jen declined .. And don't call me jenny ..

Jen hated cara calling her jenny it was something her mother us to call her .. Her and her mother were never close ..

She wasn't keen on Jens choice of lifestyle

Oh come on " Cara urged.. "Jen"

No .. I had enough last night .. And as you don't "make " me drink .. I'll pass .. Thank you .

. Cara gave her a " look" . Borinnnng..

Yup" Jen grinned .. You go off and pickle your liver and I'll just stick to being boring . ..

As she finished her sentence her phone vibrated ..

Don't want you holding us back anyways .. Cara teased poking her tongue out .

. As the friends left Jen checked her phone . ..

The message was from Tilly ..

Would love too. X

Jen bit her lip typing back quickly .. Once they had arranged where and when to met Jen checked herself in the mirror 3 times before excepting she looked fine .. Before she left

Jen drove across town pulling up outside a small cafe.. There sat in the corner was the red head she was meeting ..

Tilly was scrolling through her phone so hadn't noticed Jen arrive ..

Is this seat taken? She joked with a warm smile ..

Tilly looked up and a smile spread over her face .. Well I was saving it for a friend but I think I'll let you keep it warm .. Tilly joked ..

Jen laughed placing her bag over the back of the chair .. Coffee?

Tilly nodded .. Skinny latte please ..

Once Jen as ordered the coffee she sat down ... This is a cute place .. She noticed looking around ..

Yeah it's my favourite place .. It's like it's in London but it feels like it's not .. If you get what I mean ? Tilly laughed ..

Jen nodded .. Yeah .. I get it . Its very .. New Yorkish..

Mmmm" Tilly smiled sipping her coffee .. Look I just wanna say I'm sorry ..

Sorry? Jen frowned

Yeah .. Tilly cleared her throat .. About Jane.. Well and cara.. Them volunteering you to help me out with my flat .. It much have been awkward for you .. You don't even know me and here they are offering your services ..

Actually it wasn't awkward .. Jen smiled ..I mean .. I wouldn't mind helping you out if you need it.

. Tilly bite her lip and just smiled at Jen .. She couldn't help but notice how deep and beautiful her eyes were ..

Jen felt a little flushed .. Tilly wasn't shy and didn't hide the fact she was " looking"

Well I really do appreciate it.. And I take it Jane turned up at cara's then ? Hence the offer for a coffee?

Jen played dumb .. Looking a little confused ..

I'm sure she told you we had an argument..?

She might have mentioned it ..

Mmm" Tilly groaned .. So where are they now ?

Jen rolled her eyes .. Shopping followed by a liquid lunch ..

Won't be much shopping going on then! Tilly moaned ..

Probably not .. I expect things might be different for you but I'm happy to have a weekend off .. Cara drags me around these pubs all weekend .. Maybe I'm getting old but I can think of a million other things I'd rather be doing ..

. Oh it's not that different " Tilly explains .. If I'm honest I like my own space .. That's why I don't mind working so much .. Janes uh.. Well she's um.. She can be a little high maintenance .. Tilly sighed .. We've been arguing a bit lately ..

Mmmm cara uh filling me in .. Jen said hoping she hadn't put her foot in it ..

Oh? Tilly smiled .. On ?

Jen realised maybe she shouldn't have spilled the beans ..

Oh uh .. Um. Nothing bad .. I mean she didn't really say a lot .. Uh. Just that .. Well um..

Tilly began to laugh ... It's fine Jen really.. I mean it's not like Jane doesn't tell her everything anyways .. I assume she told you about Jane being a closet lesbian ?

Jen nodded feeling a complete idiot .. Yeah well.. It's that and a whole lot more .. But " Tilly smiled slapping her thighs .. Enough bout that .. I'm pretty sure you didn't come here to play Jeremy Kyle .. So ! Let's talk art .. Yes?

Ok? Jen grinned .. Is there any thing in particular you have your eye on?

Tilly let a cheeky smile wash over her face ..

Jens cheeks had turned red soon after those words left her mouth ..

What would you suggest?

Well" Jen shifted in her seats .. That all depends what your in too..

What I'm in too? Tilly repeated raising her eyebrows..

. Uh.. I mean like .. Uh ... Jen couldn't help but feel a little shy around Tilly .. There was something about the red head that made Jen a little giddy .. The way she looked at her.. They tone of her voice when she was being cheeky .. Was she flirting ? Jen wondered .. Instantly telling herself to shut up .. Tilly was in a long term " serious" relationship ..of coarse she wasn't flirting .. Snap out of it Jen .. She told herself .

. Do you like vintage art? Modern? Still life .. Statuesque.. Shadows? Colour .,water colour.. The list is endless .. I could go on all day .

. Tilly licked her lips.. Well. I quiet like something that you can look at and it takes you away from your reality ..

Water? Jen asked... Beaches ..

Tilly nodded .. Yeah maybe .. What do you paint ! ?

Me? Jen asked stunned .

. No one ever asked her about her paintings or job .. Art was a tricky business .. Unless you were a lover of it then it could appear to be quiet a boring subject . When Jen tells people she is an art teacher people generally .. Nod and smile politely and that's the end of it..

I uh.. I like still life .. Statues The sun rising .. Water .. I like colour.. I like throwing paint on a canvas and watch the colours submerge..

Sounds like something I'm looking for ! Tilly smiled ... Maybe you already have what I'm looking for?

Oh no .. Jen dismissed quickly .. You wouldn't want my paintings

Why not? Tilly asked ..

Uh I just uh .. Well they .. There not . Well there just .. Well I guess there my taste .. My visions .. Probably not the kinda stuff you would want in your living room ..

Tilly could sense Jen wasn't confidant in her work.. Like she was afraid to show people her thoughts "

How will we know if you don't let me see ? Tilly smiled ..

Believe me they wouldn't be good enough ..

Your an art teacher Jen .. You must have a passion for it .. I think we can both agree that your work is probably amazing ..

Jen blushed .. Maybe I could take you to some little art shops? Check out the canvases they have on show?

Yeah sure .. We can do that" after I've seen yours? Tilly informed the brunette..

Your not gonna drop this are you ?

Tilly laughed .. We've been here all of " she said checking her watch.. 35 minutes and you already know me well ..

Ok .. You win.. You can look at my stuff then I'll take you to buy some decent stuff

.. Tilly grabbed her bag ... I don't think your need to " so I'll follow you back to your then ?


	6. Chapter 6

Jen talked Tilly into heading out to the gallery .. She wanted so show the red head what was on offer ..

Tilly walked beside Jen taking in all the information she was spilling out ..

Jen came alive around art .. She was confidant and enthusiastic . Tilly couldn't help but smile ..

Ok so what's this one about ? The red head asked .. Looking at a painting of 2 small children and the painting fades into 2 old ladies.

. Mmmm" Jen sighs looking deeper at the painting .. For me .. I would say this is about friendship .. Longevity ..

You see how the children hold hands .. And the painting emerges though different stages off life..

The females still holding hands .. ? I would stay this is a life long friendship .. Could even be siblings " but I would interpret it as friends ..

Tilly nodded.. Do you have this ? A life long friend I mean?

I do.. Jen smiled .. Her names Hayley .. She is my total opposite .. ..

How about you ? She asked the redhead

Mmmm I did .. I mean I guess in away I do .. I have a close group of friends .

. But my best friend .. " Maddie.. She uh .. She died

. Oh " Jen frowned .. I'm sorry ..

Tilly shrugged .. It was a long time ago now .. Looking at Jen .. I prefer to uh .. Make new friends .. She smiled biting her lip .

Jen blushed.. She couldn't quite work out what was happening between her and this gorgeous women in front of her .

.. She wasn't good at the whole flirtatious banter stuff .. .. She took it as Tilly being playful ...

I need wine .. Tilly smiled ..

Oh ok " uh .. So nothing here catches your eye?

Tilly laughed wrinkling up her nose ..

Jen rolled eyes folding her arms .. Let's go..

Cara and Jane sit having lunch ..

You know I've texted Tilly 3 times and nothing back" Jane sulked .. She really annoys me sometimes..

Mmmm" Cara nodded .. Yeah well.. I guess she's pissed off at you still ..

Uh excuse me " Jane moaned .. my mate.. suppose to stick up for me

Cara laughed .. Babe I will always take your side... but I can see why Tilly gets her knickers in a twist with you sometimes ..

Do tell? Jane bitched...

Oh look .. Cara said bluntly .. You moaned and moaned for weeks a about how Tilly won't move in with You .. right ?

Jane nods..

Right .. Cara continued.. But what you don't seem to want to understand is .. The girl is in a relationship where she's a secret

.. No she isn't . Jane snapped

She is to a certain extent Jane" ... I mean Your closest friends and family just think she's your friend .

. All I'm saying is I can see why she is the way she is ... Sometimes .

. I do understand it frustrates her .Jane replied .. But .. Well.. I just can't bring myself to be open to my family ..

Cara shrugs.. Well that's fine but I don't think Tilly will ever take the next step with you until your totally honest ..

Jane screwed her face up .. Thanks for that Oprah... I forgot how amazingly solid your relationship is ..

Hey .. At least I'm open .. Cara laughed .. And any ways Jen and I .. We just .. Hang .. We are friends who .. Fu...

Ok thank you .. Jane interrupted.. No need for details .. I'm going for a wee .. Get the drinks in ..

As Cara waits at the bar her attentions drawn to the loud laughter on the other side of the bar ..

Tilly and Jen were sharing stories of their collage and Uni days ..

This Neil guy sounds hilarious .. I wanna meet him ..

Tilly's face fell a little ..

What? Jen shook her head...

Neil uh .. He died as well... Same time as Maddie ..

Oh.. Tilly I'm so...

No need .. Tilly inturpted .. George is alive though ..

Jen laughed .. Ok I'll meet him then..

I don't know about you .. Tilly grinned sipping her drink .. But I've had a really good day .

. Jen nodded.. Me too .. It's be uh .. Good..

Good? Tilly frowned" just good ?

Ok maybe it's been ..

. Well well well .. Cara clapped .. Fancy bumping in to you two .

. Jen and Tilly spun around to look at cara..

Jen felt disappointed .. Cara ? She falsely smiled ..

How long have you two been here ?

Uh not long .. Jen answered back .

. Is Jane here ? Tilly asked sounding a little more annoyed then she had planned ..

Uh yup .. And she ain't to happy you've been ignoring her texts either .. Cara explained .

.. Jen frowned .. She hadn't heard Tilly's phone go off at all through out the day ..

Uh .. Battery died ages ago .. Tilly lied ... Where is she ?

The loo .. We're sat round the corner .. Come on . Cara pointed ..

Reluctantly Jen stood up taking hold of her drink ..

Tilly allowed cara to walk off a little before called Jen back .. Jen .. She whispered .. I uh .. Just wanna say .. Thanks .. You know for today .. You've really cheered me up .. She smiled.

Jen felt a little sad that hers and Tilly's day had come to an end .. You don't have to thank me .. I had a really nice time .. She smiled back .

Oi.. Cara called .

Jen rolled her eyes .

Jane returned from the toilets .. Ah this is a nice surprise .. She grinned as she sat next to Tilly wrapping her arm around her .

. Baby I'm sorry I've been a dick .. She sulked kissing the red heads cheek " am I forgiven ?

Tilly sighed .. Suppose ..

Naaaawww you can't stay mad at me for to long .. Jane teased is a baby voice .. Gimme kiss?

Tilly leant her cheek into Jane .. Tut not your cheek . A proper one ..

Closing her eyes feeling slightly embarrassed she quickly pecked her girlfriend on the lips ..

Is that it? Jane moaned ..

Tilly gave her a unimpressed look .

I Think so .. Cara laughed noticing Tilly's annoyance ...

So ? What you two been up two?

Jen took me to some gallery .. Showed me some art work

See anything you wanted ..? Jane asked ..

Tilly looked at Jen .. At the gallery ? No.

Jen felt butterflies in her stomach ..what was happening here? Why was she getting these kind of feelings ..

Oh well.. IKEA it is then " Jane joked ..

Actually I have some really nice pieces.. From Jens collection ..

Oh? Jane nodded

Yeah she uh .. Took me to her place and let me chose some of her work .. Tilly explained ..

Bloody hell you must be something special .. Cara. Joked .. Took me ages to get her to take me back to her place .. Didn't it Jen.. ?

Drink anyone ? Jen asked not wanting to get into the conversation ..

I'll help .. Tilly offered getting up picking up the empty glasses ..

Typical .. She moaned ..

What ? Jen asked ..

Well of all the pubs in London we end up in the same one as them ...

Jen frowned .. It's gonna be a struggle to get them out of here before closing .

Tilly moaned.. Oh yeah ..

Well not for me... Jen explained .. I'm gonna have this one and get off !

Why? Tilly gasped ..

Jen laughed .. Same reason your not happy ... I don't want to be sat here all day

Great so you leave and I get stuck with them to alcoholics..

Uh you do have your own place .. Jen said .. It's not like you have to wait on Jane..

Tilly pouted her lips.. Your right .. Let's see how well it goes down with her then .. Tilly laughed..

Jen left shortly after making her excuses that she needed to get her marking done ..

Once she had left Tilly sat in a world of her own whilst cara and Jane talked about work ..

You ok babe? Jane asked noticing Tilly's quietness ..

Uh yeah.. Tilly nodded.. I'm just a little tired .. I think the long shifts have caught up on me ..

Ah well get another drink down ya .. Cara laughed ..

Nah .. I'm ok thanks.. Tilly declined .. I might head home actually ..

What no" Jane moaned .. Not yet .. Let's stay for a bit longer ? Please

I just want to go home have a hot bath and and early night ..

Sounds good to me " Jane winked ..

As in sleep.. You don't have to come .. Stay with cara.

I can't do that "

Coarse you can " Tilly smiled .

Yeah coarse you can " cara repeated .. Jens being boring .. Don't leave me to drink alone !

Jane looked at Tilly .. Seriously .. I just want to hit the hay.. Stay .. Enjoy the nice weather ..

You sure ? Jane asked

Yup .. Tilly kissed her girlfriend on the cheek .. I'll call you later !

Once Tilly arrived home she slumped on to the sofa .. She wasn't really tired she just couldn't stomach another alcohol fuelled evening .. Her day with Jen had been enjoyable .. It made a change to do something different ..

Holding her phone in her hand she contemplated texting the brunette ..

What's gotten into you Evans "? She said to herself ..

Tilly told herself she just enjoyed Jens company .. They had a lot in common .. Nothing else in it .. Just a new friendship right ?

Hey Jen.. Just wanted to say Thanks again for today ! I had a really nice time .. Oh and I need to collect my car at some point lol .. T x ...

You very welcome I enjoyed myself too .. I forgot all about your car until I arrived home. .. J x ...

I remembered when I realised I had to get the tube home lol .. T x ...

Well at least you managed to get out of the pub .. J x ..

. It was easier then I though actually .. I'm a little bored now though lol .. T x ...

Jen sat biting her thumb nail .. Ignoring the fact it wasn't ideal she knew she hated the fact their day was cut short .. And knew she wanted to hang out with the doctor a little longer.. ..

Well it's probably not your thing but I'm going down to the thames later to do some sketching ..

It's a pretty nice site in the dark lol .. You welcome to join me? J x

Jen hovered of the text for a few moments before sending it .. What's the worst that can happen? She wondered .. She can say no " no big deal ..

Love too..,T x Came the reply ..

Jen smiled taking a deep breath ... Jen and Cara were not exclusive .. Cara had always called them " friends with benefits " and Jen wasn't at that point looking for a relationship so she was happy to go with it .. Tilly's a good looking girl .. Of coarse I'm going to appreciate that .. She said to herself ... she had a girlfriend

.. Harmless flirting is all that it is ... No harm in it ..

Right ?


	7. Chapter 7

Jen stood on the bridge over looking the Thames ..

It was her favourite spot at night .. The London eye was light up brightening up the sky and Big Ben chimed as it hit 9pm..

She scanned the street looking out for the red head .. As she spots her crossing the road Jen becomes nervous .

. She enjoyed Tilly's company but she knew she liked her more then a friend .. Every time convincing herself not to be so stupid .

. Hey " Tilly smiled .. Sorry I'm late parking was a nightmare

Should of took the tube .. She laughed ..

It's ok .. I haven't been here long myself .. Jen explained ..

Going somewhere ? Tilly laughed nodding towards the big bag Jen had hung over her shoulder

Jen looked at her bag giggling .. Art supplies .. I should downsize it really but .. She shrugged .. Shell we?

Yup" Tilly nodded . So where are we going ?

Well .. Jen grinned as she walked off .. I accidentally found this amazing spot.. It's out the way and you can see all across the Thames ..

Ok cool .. So where is this spot ? Jen pointed up to a building .. Just up there .

. Tilly's eyes followed Jens finger .. Looking up to a huge building opposite the London eye.. . All the way up there? She frowned..

How the hell did you accidentally find that?

Like I said... Jen laughed . By accident

" c'mon ..

Tilly followed Jen climbing up what felt like a million steps.. Reaching the roof she looked over the edge ..

Wow! This view is amazing ..

I know .. Jen smiled .. Sitting down .

. You can see half of London from here" Tilly gasped ..

Jen nodded.. I come here a lot .. It's a great place for peace and quiet..

And you accidentally found this place ?

Jen tilted her head .. My brother use to work in this building before it closed down .. They boarded it up but not the stairs .. She explained .

Well I for one am glad they didn't" Tilly smiled

.. Me too.. Jen agreed opening her bag.. Ok so I have some sketch pads.. A whole heap of pencils' some paints and coffee.. She grinned .. It gets cold ..

Tilly laughed under her breath .. Well you certainly are organised..

Jen poured 2 cups of coffee out .. I bring so much because I can spend hours here .. It's like my little get away

.. Mmmmm" Tilly sipped her coffee .. And you make good coffee..

Jen smiled biting her lip .. So when was the last time you drew anything ?

Tilly puffed out her cheeks.. God it's been a long time .. My job doesn't leave a lot of time for hobbies..

I can imagine .. I use to paint all the time " Tilly continued.. When I was in collage I use to put on Art events .. Nothing big but I loved it..

Art was one of my favourite subjects .. I Had to drop it in the second year though for science.

. Mmmm" well that's understandable" Jen laughed .. Art isn't exactly a step in the right direction for medicine is it?

Tilly laughed .. God I hated science .. It had to be the most boring subject ever .. Well for me anyways

. Maybe but look at you now... Jen complimented .

. Tilly nodded.. Medicine was my parents idea if I'm honest .. I mean I love my job .. Now .. But it wasn't what I wanted when I was younger .. It was their dream more then mine

.. Jen nodded .. She knew how it felt .. Her parents were teachers and pushed it on to her .. Her brother Liam was more rebellious then her.. He got away with having to study hard..

Well at least you love it now.. Jen smiled ..

Yup .. But tonight I'm not Doctor Evans .. Tilly joked .. Tonight I will be Matilda Evans the artist .

Jen laughed .. Ok that's cool with me !

The two women sat on the edge of the building engrossed in their sketch pads.. Only talking about what they were drawing

. The air was cool and quiet .. The noise of the traffic and people below were almost a soft whisper

.. This really is an amazing place " Tilly spoke..

Jen looked over at the red head .. " Well your welcome to share it with me anytime..

! Tilly's cheeks turned slightly crimson .. Thank you ..

Jens phone beeped .. Only problem with this place is .. You still get reception " she joked as she pulled her phone out ..

Mmm" she frowned

.. Everything ok !? Tilly asked ..

Uh yeah .. Jen said reading her message .. .

.. How about me and you have a late night work out ?! Could be at yours in 20?!

It's cara.. Jen told the red head

.. Oh?

yeah.. she's obviously drunk .. Jen moaned putting her phone away ..

Your not going to reply ? Tilly asked

Nope..Jen answered continuing to sketch .

Tilly smiled .. I don't mind if you have somewhere else to be ?

Jen looked at her then back to her pad... I'm where I want to be..

Tilly's stomach flipped .. She was glad Jen didn't want to leave .. They had been there an hour and it was getting cold ..

Tilly didn't mind " she felt comfortable in Jens company ..

You don't appreciate just how amazingly beautiful this city is until you see it like this ..

Jen stopped what she was doing and took in the view

.. I couldn't agree more .. Everyone's always so busy .. Rushing around to get to where they need to be

.. But then some people wouldn't see this the way we do..

Well then they're idiots.. Tilly laughed .

Jens phone began to ring..

Cara? Tilly raised her eye brows..

Jen looked at her phone silencing it .. Mmmm

God Jane would have a complete fit if I ignored her .. Tilly mentioned..

Ugh well .. You and Jane have a totally different relationship to me and cara.. Jen stated

.. Mmm " Tilly groan .. At least yours isn't a secret ..

Jen frowned .. It bothers you ?

Tilly nodded .. Jane wants us to moving in together .. She talks about kids and stuff .. But .. Tilly shrugged

.. How can we have that when she isn't open about who she really is? And then when we argue it's all my fault for not wanting to commit .. Tilly added

I imagine it's hard .. Jen sympathised

What's so hard ? She live miles away from her family ..the same Family that are so say close .. If they loved her why would they care what her sexual preference is ? Tilly moaned

No for you .. I mean .. Jen said .

. Oh.. Yeah it is.. Tilly sulked .. She goes to all these family events alone and when her family come to see her I'm conveniently on the night shift.

. Coincidence?

Tilly laughed .. No she makes sure it's when I'm on nights .. I always stay home when I'm on nights .. It's her way of not having to address the fact she still keeps me a secret.

. Jen couldn't understand how Jane would want to keep Tilly a secret ..

Why do you stay? Jen asked with out thinking ..

Oh shit.. Sorry .. It's none of my business ..

No .. It's ok .. If I'm honest I don't really have anyone close that I can actually talk to about this stuff .. Tilly smiled .. I asked myself that question all the time .. She answered

.. When we first got together it was so much fun .. We laughed all the time .. She was like a breath of fresh air. . At the start I didn't care about her being partly out.. Then she met my family and friends and naturally you think it works both ways .. Soon as I mentioned her family she clammed up .. Kept saying it's not the right time .. 2 years on it's still not the right time .. Tilly sighed ..

But you have met her family ? Jen asked

.. Yeah .. They know me as her "nice friend Tilly " she shakes her head .

To be honest I like my independence and space .. She's never gonna admit to her family she's gay ..and I won't commit to her unless she does

.. Jen rolled her eyes .. Nothing but drama in lesbian relationships .. She joked

Tilly laughed .. Tell me about it! Sometimes I think it would be so much easier if I was straight..

Jen looked at Tilly .. Naaaaah"" they both said before laughing ..

What about you and cara? Tilly asked .. I mean personally I wouldn't place you two together

.. Why? Jen smiled..

I don't know " Tilly shrugged .. I guess your just so ... So opposite !

Jen laughed .. Don't opposites attract?

So the saying goes! Tilly smiled..

Oh I don't know what we are if I'm honest .. Don't think I even really care.. Jen shrugged.

. I split with my long term girlfriend .. It ended badly and I guess I needed some kind of light relief.. My friend Hayley introduced me to cara.

. She was fun and lively.. She wasn't looking for seriousness which suited me .

. Still? Tilly asked.

. Jen scratched her head .. We all want someone to love don't we? Someone to go home to at night

.. And is cara that person?

Jen frowned at Tilly .. What do you think ?

Mmmm" Tilly muttered. God we are a right pair huh?

Jen nodded .. Anyways .. Let me see what you've got .. She asked pointing to Tilly's sketch pad

.. Do you have too? Tilly said nervously .. I mean it isn't great

.. Let me see .. Jen ordered holding her hand out ..

Tilly rolled her eyes hanging the teacher the pad.

. Jen flipped the pages .. Tilly this is amazing..

As if.. Tilly blushed

I'm serious .. Jen reassured .. You need to do this on a canvas .. It would look great in your flat .. Tilly smiled

.. Maybe ..

No maybe .. Jen winked .

It's late .. Maybe we should go .

. Tilly checked her watch it was 11.30pm..

God yeah.. Yeah we better had ..

As the two make their way down the steps and into the street they walked silently towards the bridge where they met

.. I'll walk you to your car! Jen said ..

Thanks " Tilly smiled .

. As they reached the car Tilly turned to Jen "

I've had a really good time .

. Me too.. Jen grinned .. And your welcome to join me up there any time

.. I think I'll take you up on that" Tilly nodded ..

Ok well i uh . Guess I'll see you then?

Yeah you will .. Tilly bite her lip .. Leaning in to Jen wrapping her arms around her hugging her tightly ..

Jen reciprocated by wrapping her arms around Tilly waist

.. As Tilly pulled out of the hug she stopped inches from Jens face ..

i really enjoyed hanging out with you .. Not just now but earlier too ..

Jen could feel Tilly's cold breath on her neck as she spoke .. It sent shivers down her spine

... So did I ..

Tilly swallowed hard .. Jens perfume smelt amazing .. Tilly made the mistake of looking into Jens eyes

.. Before she knew what was happening she felt herself moving her lips towards Jens

.. Jen began to breath heavily .. Was this really happening .. Was Tilly about to kiss her ?

As Tilly's lips brushed against Jens her phone rang making both women jump ..

. Tilly panicked pulling it out of her coat ... It's Jane

.. Jen took a deep breath .." You better get that .. Tilly just stood staring at the brunette confused as to what almost happened .

. I'll uh .. I'll see ya.. Jen smiled as she walked away .. Hurrying to get as far away from the red head as possible ..

Once in her car she gripped the stirring wheel.. Taking a few deep breaths .

. Shit...


	8. Chapter 8

Your quiet" Jane mentioned looking at Tilly sat on the other end of the sofa..

Am I ?

Yeah .. In fact you have been for a few days now " is everything ok ?

Tilly shrugged ... Yeah just tired I guess .. Work and all that .

. Tilly wasn't about to tell her girlfriend how she couldn't stop thinking about Jen and How she almost kissed her after sharing a magical evening with her ..

Well why don't we go out and grab some food and a Dvd and snuggle up on the sofa?

Jane suggested .. Tilly nodded... Ok..

Janes phone vibrated in her bag... Oh...Cara just texted . She wants to know if we fancy dinner tonight ?

Tilly frowned ... Just Cara?

And Jen .. Jane replied .. Fancy it?

No .. Tilly panicked ..

I uh.. I mean I thought we were gonna have a quiet night in.. ? . Just us

Tilly didn't fancy seeing Jen just yet .. Part of her felt a little embarrassed The more she thought about that night the more of an idiot she felt

.. It was after all her that had been the one who instigated the kiss

What if her phone didn't ring?

What if Jen would of rejected her?

What if she tells cara?

Tilly began to panic.. Should she tell Jane? She wondered quickly dismissing that idea..

Would be it better if she texted Jen to apologise?.

. Or was it possible to just forget the whole thing and hope Jen had done the same..?

Tilly sat trying to work out what to do for the best..

Ok so.. Jane turned to Tilly .. Cara said why don't her and Jen grab a take away and come here?

Or.. cara and Jen grab a take away and go to one of their places instead .. Tilly said sarcastically

Jane laughed .. I think cara is trying to avoid being alone with Jen .

. Tilly frowned .. Why?

Between me and you .. Jane said.. Jens been a little ... Nodding her head..

Tilly looked confused.. A little?

Well .. Offish.. Cara said she's acting weird..

Since when? Tilly asked Jane shrugged "

dunno .. I think cara's being paranoid .. Guilty conscious and all that

.. Why would she be feeling guilty?

Jane cringed ..becaaaaause.. Cara kissed some girl the other night ..

What? Tilly gasped .. Why .. I mean she's dating Jen .

Dating being the operative word Tilly .. Jane said matter of fact..

Jen has made it pretty clear she isn't after a relationship with Cara... And that suits her ..

So does Jen know? Tilly asked

Doubt it.. Jane answered

Well if she doesn't know.. then cara's obviously not meant to be kissing other girls .. She is?

Tilly felt bad .. Here she was condemning Cara when she almost done the exact same thing ..

So are they coming over or not? Jane asked holding her phone ready to send cara a reply .

. Tilly shrugged .. What ever .. I'm going for a bath .

. Jane rolled her eyes .. Tilly's moods were starting to annoy her .. She could feel an argument brewing ..

...

Come over if you want but be warned .. The doctors in a mood! Lol ...

...

Cara replied .. Just the way I like her lol ..

So we gonna go over janes then yes ? Cara smiled

.. Jen not feeling the exact same way as Tilly was quite happy to be seeing the red head again..

Sure.. She smiled

Good .. Oh but Jane said ignore Tilly she's in a shitty mood !

What ? Jen frowned .. Why?

Cara shrugged her shoulders.. Pass..

Jen scratched her head.. She hoped it wasn't anything to do with the other night .?

Shell we not bother then ?She asked cara..

I mean if she's in a mood.. Maybe it's best we don't

Nah .. Cara brushed it off .. She'll be ok once we get there.. Janes probably pissed her off .. She joked ..

Jen forced a smile.. Ok she nodded..

Uh let's stop by my place on the way.. I'll take Tilly her paintings..

Jen wondered if maybe Tilly's mood was down to them going over ?

Maybe it was because of happened Or almost happened the other night ?

Right come then .. Cara smiled picking up her bag.. Janes opted for Chinese ..

Ok.. Jen nodded feeling unsure

Tilly sat in the bath enjoying the alone time .

Her thoughts turn to janes revelation about Cara kissing another women ..

Why would she want to kiss someone else when she has someone as good looking and as sweet as Jen? She thought

.. Same reason you almost kissed Jen.. She sighed quietly to herself ..

Tilly questioned herself over and over again .. Why?

Why did it happen? Am I happy with Jane?

What would of happened if the kiss would of actually taken place ?

How awkward will it be to see Jen again?

Tilly wished now that she had text Jen the morning after ..

As she stands drying herself she can hear laughter .. Cara's in fact..

Her heart began to beat fast.. She quickly threw some casual clothes on looking in the mirror fiddling with her hair

.. Great " she thought Jen was going to see her laid bare .

. No make up..

Wet hair

. Unflattering clothes ..

Tilly looked in the mirror again.. Sighing heavily ..

Tilly? Came janes voice from down stairs .. Jen and cara's here..

You foods getting cold .

.. Coming... Tilly called back ..

Taking a few deep breaths to ease her nerves .

. Please don't be awkward

Please don't be awkward

She whispered as she took to the stairs .

. There she is.. Cara cheered .. Wine?

Hi.. Tilly waved .. None for me thanks I have work in the morning ..

Jen noticed Tilly hadn't looked in her direction ..

Excuse the clothing .. Tilly joked .. I don't have much here..

Ah I dunno tills .. The casual boy look kinda suits you .. Cara teased ..

Wouldn't mind a piece of you myself ..

Oi.. Jane snapped playfully nudging her friend .. Keep your eyes and your mitts away from my women

.. Tilly and Jen instantly looked at each other before quickly looking away

So Jen brought your paintings over . Jane smiled pointing to the table ..

Oh" Tilly nodded walking over slowly ..

Uh thanks.. She said as she walked towards Jen ..

As she Picked the paintings up to admire them again Tilly gasped..

Jen this is...

Worth getting printed on to canvas.. Jen interrupted .

. Tilly smiled as she looked up at Jen.

. You didn't have to do this!

I didn't .. You did..

Tilly smiled again looking down at the canvas.. Jen had printed the sketch Tilly had drawn the other night ..

Well Thank you!

Jen winked sipping her wine ..

Tilly felt a little more at ease seeing Jen .. She didn't seem fazed about their "almost" encounter

.. She did what ? Jane asked looking over Tilly's shoulder ..

Oh nothing .. Tilly panicked putting the painting down ..

Jane frowned .. Let me see?

See what? Tilly shrugged .. There just painting Jen gave me .

. Yeah nothing special .. Jen added.

Well I still wanna see.. Jane said picking up the painting of the naked women ..

Wowzers... She teased .. Anyone we know?

Jen laughed .. It's her.. She pointed at cara..

Is it fuck me.. I have a better body then that thank you ! Cara stated..

Tilly laughed under her breath .. Well I think she's beautiful .

. So did Jen .. Obviously ! Jane joked .. Old flame was it?

It's no one .. As if I would give Tilly a painting of an old flame ..

Maybe I should let you paint me Jen .. Jane giggled ..

Tilly can hang that up over her bed ..

Jen looked wide eyed... I'm kidding Jen .. Jane laughed .

. Although I wouldn't say no to a naked Matilda hanging up in the bedroom ..

Eewwwww ok less of that " cara shuddered.. Let's eat I'm starving ..

Jane agreed heading into the kitchen followed by cara ..

Leaving Jen and Tilly alone .. Tilly checking they were out of ear shot turned to Jen..

Jen I uh.. Just wanna say I'm sorry

.. Jen frowned.. Sorry?

Yeah .. Tilly swallowed .. You know about the other night it was..

Great! Jen smiled .. I had a great time .

. Tilly nervously smiled .. Yeah so did I... Just uh.. She sighed ..

I wasn't talking about the roof top .. Tilly checked over her shoulder ..

I meant at the car.. I don't know what happened I .. I uh.. I guess ..

Um Jen laughed .. It's ok Tilly .. Really ..

Jen... Cara called out ..

Coming .. Jen rolled her eyes ..

Jane and Cara were sat at the table tucking into their Chinese .

. Jen tell Jane that I actually don't eat that much " she's trying to say that I'm always munching on something ..

Jen took a seat .. Sorry gonna have to agree with her .

. Bitch... Cara snapped with a giggle ..

Tilly sat on the empty chair opposite Jen ..

Tilly these two are picking on me.. Cara sulked

Tilly opened a bottle of beer throwing the lid on the table ..

I expect you deserve it.. She said sarcastically

causing Jane to give her a stern look .

. Oh fuckin hell what is this ? Pick on cara night .. ?

Tilly rolled her eyes

Coarse not . It's just the truth " Jen joked ..

Yeah well I like my food what can I say" .. You not eating doc?

Tilly shrugged .. Maybe later..

But it will go cold" Jen said

It's fine ..

.. So Jen .. You haven't told us who the naked lady is in the picture .. Jane grinned .

Jen shifted in her seat .. Like I said it's no one..

Mmmmm we don't believe you " Jane teased ..

Yeah Jen ... Who's the butt naked babe in the pic ? Cara joined in ..

Really .. It's no one..

Come on we won't judge you .. Cara laughed ..

you sleep with her didn't you ? Jane clapped For god sake ..

Tilly moaned .. She said it's no one .. Can we Drop it?

Jen looked at Tilly raising her eyebrows..

Oooooo" cara laughed ..

Jane shook had head .. We're only teasing Tilly .. It's called having a laugh .. Something you should try some time ..

Whatever.. Tilly moaned.. Getting up from her seat ..

Jen Thanks for the paintings .. She added as she left the kitchen ..

What is her problem? Cara asked..

God knows but I wish she would snap out of it " Jane sulked.. She's doing my head

in.. C'mon guys .. Maybe she's having a bad day .. Her jobs got to be stressful . Jen said sticking up for the red head ..

Jane shook her head .. Nah she's been like it for days Jen .. I really don't know what her problem is...

Jen did .. She gathered Tilly's mind has been in the same place as hers ..

Maybe she's tired ..

Or on her monthly " cara laughed ..

Just before cara and Jen were about to leave Jen popped to the bathroom

.. Jane you didn't tell Tilly about me kissing that girl the other night did you? Cara whispered..

Jane frowned.. Why ?

Uh because she's been in a shit whole time .. And her and Jen are like mates now ..

I might have mentioned it.. Jane cringed biting her lip ..

Fucking hell Jane.. Cara tutted..

Sorry.. Cara sighed .. I'm gonna have to bloody tell Jen now..

As Jen exited the bathroom Tilly met her on the landing ..

Hey ..

Hey.. Jen smiled.

. Look I'm sorry I was so rude.. Tilly apologised ..

I just um... Look if I'm honest the other nights kinda thrown me..

Tilly really it's ok..

No it's not Jen .. Tilly sighed .. I should never have .. Well you know ..

It was out of line..

Jen squeezed Tilly's arm.. Please stop apologising ..

Tilly felt a flutter inside her belly at Jens touch .

. Tilly nodded.. I'm an idiot.. I guess it was just such a nice evening .. Kinda lost myself for a moment ..

Jen didn't like to see Tilly beating herself up the way she was ..

Your not an idiot Tilly .. And um.. Don't be sorry .. Because I'm not.. She smiled as she walked down the stairs ..

Tilly's jaw dropped a little.. Jen..

Jen stopped midway down the stairs turning back ..

Your not sorry?

Jen shook her head .. No .. Maybe I'm just sorry your phone rang when it did "

Ready? Cara asked holding Jens jacket..

Uh yeah .. Jen nodded . I'll see ya Tilly ?

Tilly was shocked Jen was so upfront and honest ..

Uh yeah .. See ya Jen ..


	9. Chapter 9

Jen pressed the buzzer to her friends apartment ..

Talk to me " came a voice .

. It's me.. Jen answered pulling the door ..

As she reached the door she was met by her from Hayley .

Jenny G .. Finally .. She smiled pulling her friend In for a hug

So what do I owe the pleasure ?

Jen shrugged dropping her bag on the floor .. Half term and all that " thought I'd come annoy you for a few days ..

Mmmmmmm slightly suspicious but ok . Hayley joked ..

Wine?

Jen frowned .. It's 11am

So?

Jen rolled her eyes .. I'd prefer a coffee .

. Hayley sulked flicking the kettle .. So how's cara ! ?

Finnnnne" Jen replied ..

Not fed up with her yet ? Hayley laughed ..

Jen didn't answer she just placed her head on the table .

. I have a problem ..

Ooooo " hayley clapped .. Do tell?

You know how much I love your dilemmas .

. Not funny " Jen said sarcastically with a huff ..

This isn't a laughing matter ..

Hayley frowned .. So what is it ?

Jen took a deep breath .. Maybe wine is needed ..

Hayley leant over grabbing the wine off the side ...

c'mon ?

Jen cleared her throat.. I've uh .. Kind of done something .. Done something ? No well I haven't actually done anything .. Yet

Hayley frowned .. She knew something was up when Jen mumbled to herself .

. " ok so what's happened ?

Jen sipped her wine .. " you remember Jane? Cara's work friend?

Mmmm" vaguely.. Her boss right ?

Mmm" Jen muttered ..

Well she has uh... She's .. Ok .. So Jane has a girlfriend .. Tilly ..

Oh god " Hayley placed her hand to her mouth .. You haven't ?

What ? Jen asked confused ..

Jenny don't tell me you've been at it with this girlfriend ?

What ? Noooo .. Jen shook her head... Nothing's happned.. Well nothing physical anyways

I'm confused.. Hayley frowned..

Cara and Jane nominated me to help Tilly get some art work for her flat ..

We hung out and later on that night we met up..

I took her to the rooftop over lookin the eye ..

We just talked and sketched ..

Well there's nothing wrong in that ?

Jen shook her head .. We almost kissed .

. Oooooooooo" Hayley mocked.. Ok so maybe there's something wrong with that " she laughed

. It's not funny .. Jen sulked

.. It was so awkward the next time we saw each other .. And she tried to apologise ..

Why ?

She kinda instigated it .. Jen explained ..

But me being me .. Made it worse by opening my big mouth ... She says sorry and I say don't be..

Because I'm not .

. Shit! Hayley gasped .. What did she say?

She didn't .. Cara interrupted us ..

Ohhh H why do I do this to myself .

. Hayley smiled .. Your a sucker for a hotty?

Jen shook her head .. I like her .. I mean I really like her ...

But she has a girlfriend !

Jen nodded .. I do know " .. A girlfriend of 2 years .. She sighed heavily ..

I can't help it .. She beautiful .. Smart.. Intelligent .. Artistic.. She's a doctor .

. And you wanna play the nurse ? Hayley laughed applauding herself

.. Jen rolled her eyes .. Why I thought i'd be able to talk to you about this I don't know

.. Hey hey .. I'm kidding .. Look you got a little crush .. So what .. It will pass ..

Jen shrugged .. I don't know .. The thing is .. I think she kinda likes me too...

Jen .. Hayley said seriously .. I know you and cara ain't exclusive but this girl is in a relationship .

A long relationship

.. With a women how hides her away .. She's not even out to her family " Jen moans

.. Hayley shakes her head .. Doesn't matter ...

They have longevity .. Maybe they are having a bad time and this Tilly women is enjoying some attention from .. You.

. You're a good looking woman she has stuff in common with .

. Don't read to much into it babe ...

Jen drummed her fingers on the table ..

was Hayley right ?

Tilly did pretty much make it clear her and Jane were having arguments .

. Maybe she was just enjoying being around someone different ?

Why would she almost kiss me then? Jen asked ..

Hayley sighed .. I dunno .. Heat of the moment ?

Babe if I were you " I wouldn't read to much Into this ..

Don't be the bad guy ..

Jen swallowed .. Hayley was right ..

Tilly and Jane had been together along time .. It was surely a rough patch ..

Jen didn't want to be apart of that .

. It would be messy and that's the last thing Jen needed .

. Tell you what though .. This has made me think

.. About ! ? Hayley asked ..

Cara.. Jen replied ... I think she and I have come as far as we can. .

. Your gonna dump her ? Hayley asked surprised ..

I hate that word .. Dumped ? It sounds so .. I don't know .. I just don't like it .. But yeah .. I think I want something more

.. She's a nice girl jen.

. Jen agreed .. Yeah she is .. If you like to party every weekend .. And get drunk a lot .. She's good in bed and she's fun

.. But I'm the wrong end of my 20s and I'm passed all that .

. Hayley raised her eye brows .. Nothing to do with this Tilly ?

jen shook her head .. Maybe that little moment with her has made me realise I want something more ..

It wouldn't be fair to keep seeing cara knowing I would just be settling ..

That's not fair to me or her ..

Babe.. You were happy enough before .

. My advice ? Stay as you are .. Don't rush into anything

.. Don't make decisions based on the fact you almost kissed someone else ..

Think about it .. If in a week or so you feel the same.. Then dump her "

Jen pinched the bridge of her nose .. Your right .. Your always right . She laughed ..

I think I need to keep my distance from Tilly for a while..

Yup " Hayley agreed .. So just out of curiosity how fit is she ?

Jen smiled .. Does it matter ?

Well yeah" Hayley laughed .

Jen pulled her phone out .. I think there's some pics on janes Facebook of the two of them .. She explained as she scrolled through caras profile looking for Jane

.. Ah there you go "

Hayley took the phone flicking through the photos .. Mmmmm" red head ..

Jen nodded watching her friends face as she scanned the people in the photo ..

Shit Jen .. Scrap everything I just said .. She's a hotty ..

Uh no not scrap what you said " Jen moaned ..

Go back to being the voice of reason .. Tell me I'm stupid .

. Can't " Hayley laughed .. She's beautiful .. You've got a problem babes ..

A really big problem !


	10. Chapter 10

Arrrgh why are Mondays such a bore" cara moaned .

. As she tapped away at the computer ..

Jane laughed .. Probably because your hanging from the weekend ?

Mmmmm" cara groaned .. Aye what's tills problem anyway!?

She was in a right foul mood the other night ..

The other night ? Jane frowned .. And the night after that and the one after that .. She's been a right stroppy mare lately "

Cara raised her eye brows... Sort it out Jane .. Still can't believe you told her I kissed that girl ..

Jane shrugged" she won't say anything . . Any ways thought you was telling Jen ?

Nah .. Cara laughed .. Jen don't need to know .. She wouldn't care anyways .

. That's how we are .

Jane shook her head .. Ah to be free" she joked ..

As apposed to living in that closet of yours ? Cara laughed .

. Jane threw a pen at her giggling friend .. Dick .

. So do ya think Tilly's gonna be in a better mood next weekend?

Next weekend? Jane frowned..

Yeah David's wedding ? Cara reminded her ..

David was the big boss of the estate agents the Two women worked at ..the wedding was going to be a huge deal at A big posh county house ..

Oh shit" Jane gasped .. I completely forgot

.. Well it's a good job your amazing assistant reminded you isn't it " cara smiled ..

Mmmmm" well I'll ask Tilly " wouldn't hold my breath though .. What about Jen ?

Cara screwed her nose up " she won't come .. She never does ..

She might if Tilly's going .. They can talk about boring shit .. While we get drunk .. Jane joked ..

Ha .. Or we just go on our own " cara suggested ..

Jane raised her eyebrows .. Ask Jen ..

Ask Jen " cara playful coping Jane .. I will when she comes back .. She's gone to her friends for a few days

.. Which friend " Jane asked

Hayley .. Cara answered ..

Ah .. Jane nodded .. So how long she gone for ?

Dunno .. Cara shrugged .. She just said see ya in a few days"

she'll come back when she's ready ..

Jane shook her head " remind me why you two go out again ?

Don't hate " cara waved.. Not everyone wants to be in a relationship where it's all moan moan moan

.. Uh it's not all moan thank you " Jane said ..

We're just going though a rough patch ..

Dry patch ya mean" ? Cara laughed ..

Mmmm that as well " Jane sulked

..don't remember what she looks like naked these days ..

And I know it's my fault .. I know this whole family thing gets to her ...

Yeah and you still won't come clean cara butted in ...

Your suppose to be "my" friend ..

I am " I just think that you make a rod for your own back . You want Tilly to move in with you but you won't be open and honest about who you really are" cara stated bluntly..

Cara I can't .. I'm not gonna keep justifying it ..

Tilly knew the deal when we got together .. And anyways .. The idea of Tilly moving in has passed now ..Jane added.

. Cara laughed .. What you need is a relationship like mine .. Sex and laughter ..

Chance be a fine thing" Jane moaned as she got up to greet the couple coming through the door ..

Cara laughed pulling her phone from her bag ..

Hey hot stuff!

So Jane and I have to go to our bosses' wedding next weekend ..

I need a plus 1!

Though I'd ask you before I checked my little date book! Lol

What do you say ?

Jen sighed as she read her message ..

What ? Hayley asked

.. Cara.. Jen muttered .. She's uh .. Asking me to go to her bosses wedding with her .. Yeah

and?

Well janes going .." Which means Tilly probably is .. Jen sighed ..

So you get to hang out with the sexy red head all day !

what's the problem ? Hayley joked

.. Your really not helping ' Jen moaned. As she types back ..

I'll let you know x..

Cara smiled reading Jens reply.. Jens coming " cara shouted out to Jane ..

Taking her I'll let you know as a yes!

Ah good .. I'll ask miss moany pants later then ..

As Tilly pulled up outside her flat she noticed janes car parked up ..

Hey " Tilly said as she got out her car.

. Hi" Jane smiled taking off her sunglasses... So I thought I'd come by.. See if your still mad with me ?

Tilly rolled her eyes .. I'm not mad at you ..

Look i know I've been a moody cow lately .. And I'm sorry ..

Apology excepted " Jane smiled getting out the car .

. Wrapping her arms around the red head ..

You can make it up to me if you want ? She teased

Mmmmmmm " Tilly hummed leaning in to kiss her girlfriend ..

Once in side Tilly's flat Jane took the opportunity to ask Tilly about the wedding ..

So uh .. You know David don't you ? My boss ?

uh dark hair " overly tanned? Tilly remembered ..

Yeah " Jane laughed . Well he's getting married next Saturday ...

And well I was wondering if you wanna come!

To your bosses wedding ? Tilly frowned..

Where I know no one?

Mmmm" Jane nodded .. Cara will be there .. And Jen ..

Jens going? Tilly asked .

. Yeah .. So at least your have someone you know there other then me and cara " Please ?

Tilly's first thought was no"

she didn't want to have to endure a full day of watching Jane and cara drinking like they were teenagers .

. Her second thought was she could hang out with Jen all day " which made her feel bad .

Here in front of her was her loving girlfriend ..

Someone she loves and has done for a long time

.. Why all of a sudden was she thinking of another women

.. Earth to Tilly" Jane giggled waving her hand in front of Tilly's face .. So ?

Will you come ?

Tilly nodded .. Coarse I will " she smiled ..

Good " Jane clapped kissing Tilly ..

I'm gonna grab a shower then take you for dinner ..

Tilly sat alone with her thoughts .. She wanted to believe she had only took a shine to Jen because her and Jane had been arguing ..

Jen was cool 'calm and relaxed .

. She made Tilly feel the same

.. Maybe that's why ? She wondered .

.. Tilly decided that maybe if she made more of an effort with Jane and their relationship then this "crush " would fade ..

Deciding that now is a good a time as any she crept into the bathroom slipping into the shower behind Jane..

. I'm not hungry " she whispered as she gently kissed janes neck ..

They made love in the shower and in the bedroom .

. Tilly done her best to concentrate solely on Jane ..

. As then lie breathless Jane rolls on to her side ... I've missed you !

Tilly forced a smile ... I haven't been anywhere '

I know ..

I just hate it when we fight ..

I feel like I lose you ..

Tilly kissing janes head .. Don't be silly .. I'm here

Jane smiled closing her eyes ..

. Tilly lay on her back looking into the darkness ..

Guilt starts to set in as Jane's words run through her mind .. Tilly hated herself ..

She hated what she was thinking " feeling " trying to pretend she wasn't ..

Trying to think about what she has . trying to remember how in love she was .

how long they had been together ! .

. But at the same time kicking herself that she had just made love to her girlfriend thinking of Jen the whole time ..


	11. Chapter 11

The weekend arrived .

. Jane and Tilly seemed to be back on track .

. Their love life had returned to normal and Jane seemed happier .

The wedding was today and the sudden dread of confusion had washed over Tilly most of the morning .

She knew seeing Jen today would make her rethink her feelings for Jane .again

. Sighing heavily as she finished off her makeup ..

Jane entered the room .

. Wow you look incredible" she smiled as she put her earrings in ..

Thanks" Tilly smiled back .. So do you "

Right so cara and Jen are going to meet us there .

. Jen stayed at her own place last night so cara has to wait for her ..

Oh did she ? how come!? Tilly asked hoping they had maybe had an argument ..

Jane shrugged .. Dunno " think she went out with a mate ..

Cara thinks it's an old flame though .

. A knot formed in Tilly's stomach " old flame?

Yeah .. Cara said some girl Jen use to date has moved back to the area.. Jane explained ..

Jens always checking her phone so cara's suspicious " Jane laughed ..

Not that she has the right considering she goes around snogging strangers ..

Mmmmmm" Tilly groaned ..

Who was this women ? She thought ..

Maybe Jen is seeing her again?

What if she stops seeing cara?

Does that mean Tilly won't see her again?

Would that be so bad ?

Tilly shook her head to rid herself of these thoughts ..

It's not your business Tilly" she whispered to herself ..

Ready ? Jane grinned

Tilly gave herself the once over .. Yup!

Jane quickly texted cara to tell her they were leaving .

As they entered the car .. Cara replied

.. Oh" Jane frowned ..

What's up ?

Cara just said her and Jen are having an argument and Jen is refusing to come to the wedding ! Jane relaid

Oh.. Tilly muttered .. Let them get on with it ..

Jane pulled off on to the road " I can't seem them lasting much longer you know "

Tilly looked out the window thinking maybe Jen not attending wouldn't be such a bad idea

Was not seeing her was probably for the best .?

. I don't really care Jane" Tilly lied ..

Truth was.. She didn't really know how she felt about not seeing The brunette

I was only saying " Jane sulked

. I didn't mean it like that " Tilly smiled ..

I just meant .. Well .. As long as we have a good day that's all that matters .

Jane smiled ... And we will ..

As soon as they arrived Jane began to mingle .. Air kissing loads of random people ..

Tilly hung behind her for a few minutes until Jane became engrossed in " work " talk .. Then she slipped away to the bar

.. Hoping she would become invisible .. As she orders a glass of champagne she scans the faces ..

None familiar ..

This was going to be a long day " she thought ..

A few minutes later a voice came over the speakers ..

Ladies and gentlemen please take your seats for the wedding ceremony" ..

Tilly sunk her champagne and joined Jane .. Taking their seats .

. This is beautiful isn't it? Jane grinned looking around ..

Yeah " Tilly answered quietly ..

As the groom stood nervously the music began .

. Everyone turned their heads watching as the bride made her way down the aisle .. As she past Jane and Tilly .. Tilly noticed a familiar face staring back at her ..

Jen" she gasped .

. What ? Where ? Jane responded .. Looking around .

. Jen and Cara were sat in the back row

.. Cara must have talked her round " Jane whispered ..

Tilly didn't acknowledge Jane she just kept her eyes on the bride as she approached her groom ..

This will be us one day " Jane smiled linking her arm with Tilly's ..

Shhh" was Tilly's response ..

As they watched janes boss marry his bride ..

all Tilly could think about was the fact in the next few minutes she was going to be in Jens company .. For the whole day .

. I know pronounce you man and wife.. You may kiss the bride ..

Everybody clapped in congratulations as they shared a passionate kiss.

. Wow " Jane sniffed " I loved that "

Mmmmm.. Tilly nodded

. Jane " cara called .. Bar?

Jane gave her the thumbs up .. Let's go celebrate ..

Great " Tilly moaned sarcastically .. What she would give to be on call from work right know " she thought

Jane made her way towards cara

.. Tilly noticed Jen was no where to be seen ..

Cara noticed Tilly looking confused .. " she's in the loo ...

Tilly lifted her head to acknowledge her ..

Champagne Madame? A young waiter holding a tray offered ..

Mmmm" thank you " Tilly smiled taking hold of the flute ..

Cara and Jane began mocking the other guests outfits ..

First on the list " a rival estate agent dressed in yellow

Ha " she looks like big bird from Sesame Street.." Cara joked ..

Jane laughed hysterically ..

Tilly rolled her eyes.. Sipping her drink .

. She was not amused .. She hated bullies .. She hated people who look down on others ..

Jane look there's David" cara pointed out .. Let's go say congrats ..

Jane quickly drank her drink picking up another ."

Tilly's?

Uh I'll stay here " she smiled ..

Jane shrugged with a smile as she wondered off ..

Hey" came a voice at the side of Tilly ..

Tilly swallowed the lump in her throat before turning around .

. Hi she smiled nervously

Jen took a flute of champagne from a passing waiter .

. " good job there's free booze" She smiled drinking the whole contents of the glass .

. It's gonna be a long day "

Tilly smiled " I didn't think you were coming?

Jen nodded .. I almost didn't ...

Then I thought about you here .. All by yourself while they " she pointed ..

Head off mingling with their boring work friends ..

Tilly blushed .. Jen had came for her?

To keep her company .. ?

You look great by the way! Jen said giving Tilly the once over ..

Tilly looked straight into Jens eyes not needing to see what she was wearing

.. So do you .

Jen bit her lip .. Ok so .. We have two options .

.1) we could go over and join tweedle dumb and tweedle dee..

Or ? Tilly asked

Or.. Jen laughed ." . We can stand here and get totally sloshed on all this free booze ?

Tilly grinned .. " well I'm not usually one for getting out my face but ... She laughed ..

But... The latter does sounds much more appealing..

Jen handed the red head more champagne grinning as she clinked her glass with the redheads

Good...


	12. Chapter 12

Tilly's day was going better then she had thought it would

. . Jen done her best to entertain her.. Making small talk .

. Laughing at the fact they actually had no clue who any of these people were .

. So you've been with Jane all this time and you've never met her work colleagues?Jen laughed

.. Tilly shook her head "well I've met David.. And even that was by accident .

. It's a plus side of working ridiculous hours at the hospital

Jen laughed ..

How many of these social gatherings have you been to? Tilly asked ..

This one .. And uh .. this one " Jen grinned ..

, and if I'm honest I only came because I knew those two would leave you on your own

.. Tilly smiled looking down at her drink ..

Jen licked her bottom lip

"you look really nice .. She muttered .. Wait ?

I've already said that haven't I ? She blushed .

. Yeah " yeah you did! Tilly smiled"

but i'll take the compliment .. Again "

Shell we sit? Jen asked pointing to an empty table ..

Tilly nodded .

. Best thing about these tables?

The bottles of wine!Jen joked.

Get pouring then" Tilly giggled passing her some clean glasses..

Where's Tilly ? Jane worried as she looked around .

. Cara done the same before spotting her and Jen .

. Sat over there"

Oh.. " Jane frowned as she looked over

.. Tilly and Jen were sat alone .. Jen was obviously telling Tilly some thing funny ..

Because she was laughing historically ..

Who would of thought Jen was so funny " Jane moaned .

. She has her moments" cara answered ..

Maybe we should go over " Jane suggested

What? Why? Cara frowned .. They're probably talking about some boring crap..

Jane laughed " yeh Art.. Or some hospital stories .

. Exactly.. Leave em to it I say.. Cara sipped her drink ..

Watching the brunette and red head a little closer ..

Jen placed her hand on Tilly's shoulder .. Instantly causing Tilly to react .. Looking down at Jens hand then to her face

.. This moment hadn't gone unnoticed by Cara.

.. Cara? Jane waved her hand in front of her

You ok ?

Uh yeah .. Cara smiled .. Let's give this free booze a good kicking ..

So the guy actually walked the whole ward naked? Jen laughed

Yup"In all his glory .. Proud as you like" Tilly smiled .. Wow.. Well at least it's not all sickness and death ..

Tilly grinned looking around ..To see Jane and cara whispering away ..

Do you want to go over ? Jen asked

Tilly shook her head ..

Not really.. I'm uh.. Actually having a nice time with out them!

Jen nodded .. Look Jen .. I uh .

. Tilly closed her eyes rubbing her forehead ..

I just wanna say that um..

There you are " cara smiled sitting next to Jen .. Sorry i buggered off..

Jen shook her head .. It's fine .. Tilly and I were just enjoying the wine ..

So I see " cara said raising her eyebrows .. Wanna dance?

Uh no .. Jen laughed under her breath ..

C'mon" ?

Cara I don't dance .. Jen informed her ..

Especially not at weddings

.. Cara.. Jane called out .. Beckoning her over .

. Cara leant into Jen .. I'll piss off then shell I ?

Before Jen could react cara walked away

.. She ok? Tilly asked

Who cares " Jen shrugged

.. What was you gonna say before?

Tilly wanted to clear the air but now she wasn't so sure she had the guts to bring it up ..

Doesn't matter

" You sure ? Jen asked .

. She had an idea what Tilly was thinking but wasn't going to push her..

Tilly began to bite her nail .. I dunno .. She swallowed .

. I just .. I . I feel like . Like I'm.. Sipping her drink for a little courage ..

Ok ., I just .. I don't know why .. But Um... I feel like I'm doing something wrong here

.. Jen looked around playing dumb .. Everyone's pretty much taking full advantage of the free booze .. You Don't have to feel bad " she joked .

Tilly's face was full of seriousness

Jen shifted in her seat realising Tilly didn't want to joke ..

We're not doing anything wrong Tilly .

No?

Jen shook her head " so we get on" ?

that's all it is

Tilly sipped her wine.. Get on?

She sighed .. So why do I feel so bad?

Jen cleared her throat ..

Your not doing anything bad"

your allowed to be attracted to other people ..

There's no law that says you're never allowed to look at another once you are in a relationship

And the kiss? Tilly asked .

. We didn't kiss .

. Because Jane called interrupting "Tilly reminded her .

. If she didn't then ..

. But we didn't " Jen said sharply

.. Tilly .. It's like you said .. It was a nice evening .. Those moment kinda gets you .. You really shouldn't beat yourself up over it

.. But I really wanted to kiss you .. Tilly blurted out feeling the effects of the wine ...

And I can't quite work out if I'm angry about that .. Or about the fact I actually didn't get too!

And that is wrong of me..

Jen raised her eye brows shocked at Tilly's honest .. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach

.. Well it wasn't one sided .. So it's not all your fault

Tilly shook her head .. It's different Jen .. You and cara.. It's .. It's what you do ..

Who you are ..

Jen frowned .. I mean.. Like the relationship you have .. You don't owe her anything .. Your not serious

.. She kisses other people and you couldn't care less...

Your having secret meetings with an ex .. I just

What? Jen laughed

. Woaaaah hold on a sec .. She kisses other people ?

I'm having it away with an ex?

Tilly cringed .. Sorry .. I uh I'm rambling ..

The difference is .. You're allowed.

. I'm not ..

Jen turned her body into Tilly's

.. Listen .. Firstly .. your right .

. Cara and I don't have the kind of relationship you and Jane do ..

And your right .. Cara kissing someone else doesn't bother me ..

Because I'm not in love with her

Tilly You love Jane.. Your going through a rough patch .. Thats All it is .. isn't it?

As for an ex?

I have no idea what your talking about" She laughed ..

Tilly turned red rolling her eyes.. Cara told Jane she thinks you're .. Oh god .. just .. Just Forget about it " she laughed .

. Jen nodded " already have .. Right let's stop worryin about this ..

Let's just enjoy ourselves .. And get some food.. I'm starving

. Tilly smiled following Jen into the food tent.

. Babbbbby" Jane called out wrapping her arms kissing her cheek

. I've missed you .

. Tilly pulled jane's arms off her neck ..

" well I haven't been anywhere .

I know " Jane kissed her again ..

And I'm sorry I've been mingling without you

.. It's ok Jane .. I really don't mind .. Mingle away

. Tilly said watching Jen and cara

Nope.. I'm all yours now .. Me and you " the rest of the day"

Tilly forced a smile .. As Jane hugged her .

. This isn't want she wanted "

she wanted to talk to Jen some more .

. She didn't want to hear Cara talking her usual crap ..

As she looked over at Jen a sudden rush of jealously washed over her .

. Cara had leant in placing a small kiss on Jens neck ... Then on her cheek .. Trailing her hand across Jens backside ...

Let's get some food" Tilly suggested

Cara ya pig " Jane laughed seeing the size of the plate cara was holding .

. What? I'm hungry .. Need to soak up the booze"

Jen shook her head handing Tilly a plate

.. Thanks" Tilly smiled

.. As they sit back at their table cara purposely sits in the chair Tilly was sat on ..

Ushering Jen to sit next to here .

. Cara look" there's big bird again" Jane laughed ..

Jen looked round spotting the women in yellow.

. Oh my god are you serious? She frowned .

. What? It's funny " cara chuckled

.. Jen shook her head .. You two seriously need to grow up ..

I think she looks lovely " Tilly added

So do I " Jen agreed..

Oh for god sake " Jane moaned putting her fork down ..

It's a joke .. You two need a serious humour implant ..

Cara laughed .. C'mon Jane let's go be immature else where ..

Jane got up .. " if you feel like you want to have a good time .. We'll be over there .. She pointed to the dance floor .. ..

Jen watched as they left .." Shaking her head ..

Tilly raised her eyebrows .. Bet they're wishing they didn't bring us now .. She smiled

.. Jen shrugged looking straight init Tilly's eyes .. I don't care

Like I said .. I only came for you ..


	13. Chapter 13

Tilly blushed .

. She couldn't work out why this women had such an impact on her .

. Yes she was gorgeous and they had a lot in common..

But it was more then that .

.. Well !...I'm not sure I should be the reason you're here but I'm glad you are .. She smiled

.. Jen fiddled with her glass .. Letting out a sigh .

. Tilly... I'm not going to lie... I like .. I enjoy your company ..

A lot .more then I should maybe ..She added looking up from her glass

Tilly's mouth dropped a little ... It was Jens turn to be honest ..

I want I say that it's platonic .. And .. That it's caused by common interests but

.. Well I think it's safe to say that we both know it's a little more then that

Jen" Tilly panicked

.. Not wanting Jen to go further

.. It's fine Tilly really .. Jen assured her.

Your in a Loving relationship .. And I'm .. Well .. Whatever I am ' she laughed .. .

.. I'm happy to just be friends .. If you are ?

Tilly was shocked.. Hearing Jens words were like reading her own mind ..

She didn't have any words .. She just nodded ..

Jen smiled .. Good.. It's ok isn't it?

I mean people are allowed to be attracted to other people .. Doesn't mean anything "

Yeah.. I mean we can just ignore it .. Tilly said unconvinced by her own words

Jen sipped her wine ... It's always nice to have new friends

.. Tilly nodded .. Holding her glass up .. Here to new friendships"

Jen clingedher glass with Tilly's " cheers

.. Cara stood on the dance floor feeling a little drunk .. The night was slowly coming to an end

.. Jane was well away .. Dancing with all the guests " singing at the top of her lungs ...

Jen and Tilly hasn't moved all day .. " they done their best to pretend their minds weren't on each other ..

Small talk saw them through

.. As cara sipped her drink she watched intensely ..

Jens face was a glow .. Her laugher loud and her posture relaxed

.. Her arm draped over Tilly's chair carelessly

Cara began to feel annoyed .. As drunk as she was she wasn't stupid ..

Regardless of the nature of her and Jens relationship she had spent enough time with the brunette to notice things about her

.. Like she bites her lip and fiddles with her hands when she's nervous ..

When she's tired she plays with her hair

.. When she's angry she cleans ..

Although Cara didn't know the debt of Jen she certainly knew her body language

Jen likes Tilly" she thought " she actually likes her ..

Jane .. Cara called out " let's go over " she pointed to the giggling pair ..

Why ? There being boring " Jane moaned ..

Because.. Cara snapped " we've left them all day ..

Jane shrugged .. Yeah alright

.. As Cara approached... Jen removed her hand off Tilly's chair ..shifting her body around .

. Hi" cara smiled

.. Jen smiled .

. Cara looked at Tilly then to Jen .. Leaning down to whisper loud enough that Tilly heard .. "

shell we go to our room ?

Drunk are we ? Jen asked .

. Cara shook her head .." Nope ..

I just can't stop thinking about how much I want to get you into bed

.. Jen swallowed.. Trying her hardest not to look at Tilly

The weddings not over yet " she smiled

.. Cara shrugged .. So " c'mon .. I'll even do that thing you like " she winked .

. Giving Jen a full on kiss on the mouth .

. Jen became a little embarrassed .. Cara .. What's got into you " ..

You .. Cara answered kissing the brunette again .

." And what I want to do to you

.. Tilly cleared her throat .. She felt uncomfortable watching cara drape herself all over Jen ..

She had never been so happy as Jane taking a seat next to her ..

Hey babe" she smiled ..

Jane smiled taking Tilly's hand .. So what did I miss ?

Cara mulling over Jen to make a point she was hers " Tilly thought ..

Not much " she answered

.. I'm just trying to get my girl into bed " Cara joked ..

Looking at Tilly once more .

. Oh" .. You know the parties not over yet .. The hotels opening the indoor bar .. Jane smiled ..

Cara shook her head ... Nope I want this one .. She nodded towards Jen .. Naked and at my mercy ..

Jane laughed ..sounds like a plan to me .. She teased nudging Tilly .

. Ha.. Tilly gasped .. I uh .. I'm a happy to go inside to the bar if you want ..

Uh yeah .. Jen nodded in agreement " we should as well.. She said aimed at Cara ..

I mean it's not like you to pass up free booze "

And it's not like you to want to stay up all night drinking .. Cara snapped

Not every weekend no .. But who passes up a free bar! .. Jen laughed

That's settled then .. Let's stay a little longer then you can go have drunken sex.. Might even get some myself .. Jane joked kissing Tilly's cheek

.. Cara was annoyed .. After watching Jen swoon over Tilly she was in no mood to socialise.

. The alcohol had well and truly kicked in and her mind became over active... Let's go then " Jane said standing up

.. Jen I wanna go back to our room "

Jen smiled making light of cara's mood " later .. She winked ..

No now.. Cara snapped .. I don't want any more to drink .

. Cara don't be boring " Jane laughed .

. Cara ignored Jane " you coming ? She asked Jen once more ..

. Jen just looked at Cara unsure of what had gotten into her .

.. No? Cara raised her eyebrows " fine don't.. She moaned as she stormed off..

where you going ? Jane called out ..

Jen looked at Tilly who looked confused ..

What's all that about ?

I don't know Jen " said shaking her head

.. Shell I go after her ? Jane offered..

No! .. I better I guess " Jen replied placing her hand on Tilly's shoulder..

Night ..

Good night Jen " Tilly replied sadly ..

Jane sat back Down" and then there was two..She laughed ..

As Jen headed towards the hotel she found cara being sick ..

What is wrong with you ? She moaned..

Cara wiped her mouth " to much to drink I'm guessing

.. Jen shook her head .. Why did you storm off like that?

Well it was obvious you didn't want me there .. " cara snapped

.. Jen frowned shaking her head .. Cara I offered to stay out with you .

. No .. You would rather stay out with Tilly then go to bed with me " cara said sarcastically

Jen was taken back by her comment" What you talking about ?

Cara stood closer to Jen .. Looking straight into her eyes ..

What your gonna tell me you don't have a thing for the doctor?

Jens eyes widened .. She opened her mouth but nothing came out .

.Cara shook her head .. You don't have to answer Jen ... I see it with my own eyes

jen swallowed the huge amount of saliva that had formed in her mouth .. Your drunk .

maybe.. Cara agreed .. Maybe I'm very drunk ... Drunk but not stupid Jen ...


	14. Chapter 14

Jen stood alone with her thoughts taking a few deep breaths ..

How did this happen ?

What did I do that was so obvious?

How did cara notice ?

Her hands on her hips she looked up to the dark sky .. Exhaling deeply ..

.. She gone to bed ? Jane asked as her and Tilly came round the corner hand in hand making Jen jump

Uh yeah " Jen smiled .. She uh .. Well she puked .. It wasn't pretty .. I'm just taking a few minutes ..

Jane nodded .. Can't handle her drink " she laughed .

Tilly noticed Jen looked strained .. She knew it wasn't the witnessing of cara being sick that had her looking worried.

You ok?

Jen looked at Tilly .. Me? .. I'm fine ..

Her words said she was but her body language told Tilly different ..

Well good luck looking after her .. Jane joked ..

Jen nodded ..

Night Jen .. Tilly said ..

Night Tilly ..

Inside the hotel room cara was stood at the window smoking ..

Do you have to? Jen moaned ..

Yup " was cara's answer ..

This is a non smoking hotel " why you feel the need to smoke when you drink I'll never know ..

Why you feel the need to lie me I'll. never know .. Cara replied ..

Jen rolled her eyes. Your being ridiculous .. You've had to much to drink

No Jen .. I'm not an idiot .. I saw the way you were laughing , the way you casual draped your arm over her chair.. You were far to relaxed around her ..

Jen laughed .. All this because I draped my arm over her chair ? Seriously ?

Don't mock me .., I know you better then you think ,. Cara snapped ..

Question is... Does she feel the same ?

Jen shook her head .. Cara there is nothing going on between Tilly and I ... Why can't you believe that?

Cara watched Jen as she began to fiddle with her hands ..

Nervous are we? She asked ..

What?

Your fiddling " you do that when your nervous ..

I'm not nervous .. Jen shrugged .. I'm annoyed .. I'm pissed off that you have the nerve to stand here and accuse me of...

Accuse you ? Cara interrupted .. No .. I'm not accusing you .. I see it Jen ..

Just because Tilly and I get on doesn't mean I fancy her.. All I was doing was keeping her company while you and Jane mingled ... Jen said matter of fact ..

What do you talk about? Cara asked .. I mean that do you have in common other then you paint and she likes them !?

Jen frowned ... We just talk "

Well it must be hilarious because the two of you are constantly giggling " .. Your not convincing me Jen ..

I don't need to convince you cara" Jen fumed .. I'm telling you nothing is going on ..

You know I wouldn't give a shit if you just wanted to fuck her ... But you don't do you ?

You actually really like her ..

How many more times cara... Tilly and I are just friends .. We keep each other company while you and Jane get off your faces ...

Cara laughed ... And another thing . Every time she's around your different ..it's Like your trying ,

Jen placed her hand on her forehead .. Cara wasn't letting this drop ..

Tell me Jen.. It's not like we're serious .. You can fancy who you like .. Just be honest ...

Honest " Jen snapped .. Like you huh ? Tell me how many girls have you kissed on nights out recently ?

Oh here we go... Tilly be telling tales has she .. Cara said shaking her head .

Jane actually" Jen blurted out without thinking .

Jane was so drunk she wouldn't have remembered telling her or not..

Yeah so what? Cara shrugged.. Ain't like you care .. We do what we want .

Exactly .. Jen fumed as she began to tidy the room ...

So ? Cara asked again ... How long has it been going on?

Nothing is going on " how many times Do I have to tell you ? Jen shouted .. And incase you have forgotten . Tilly has a girlfriend "

And that's the only thing stopping you " cara clapped .. Good old Jane

It's because of her you haven't made your move...

Jen could feel herself boiling up .. Cara's persistence was wearing her down ..

Part of her wanted to shut her up by admitting she had feelings for the doctor ..

The other part of her knew that if she did then there's a possibility she wouldn't see Tilly again

Unlike you cara I can have friends .. I don't feel the need or want to sleep with ...Jen said sarcastically ..

me and Tilly get on " we have things in common things we like to talk about " one mainly being that we both date women who constantly want to get pissed and sit looking down their noses at people ., judging them for who they are . . What they wear..

Oh fuck off Jen " that was called having a laugh " something you only seem to do when Tilly's around .. Cara sulked..

I don't blame you though .. She's good looking " she's a doctor .. She's got money .. She likes art and stuff .. She's a catch ..

Janes catch .. Jen muttered ..

That's not like you Gilmore... Usually you get what you want .. Cara said ..

Remembering Jen telling her once that if she wanted something bad enough she won't stop until she had it..

Jen wasn't sure how much longer she could keep denying the truth ., she knew she had to shut cara up and fast .

Walking over to where cara was sitting she leant over her ..

I said that to get you into bed remember ? She forcefully smiled ..

She began unbutton cara's shirt..

I don't want to fuck Tilly .. You on the other hand " kissing cara's neck ..

I know what your doing " cara told her leaning back allowing Jen access ..

I'm tryin to get laid " what else

Do you think I'm doing" Jen asked..

Cara stopped Jen" .. Look I won't tell Jane .. I mean your allowed to like other people .. And Tilly is more your type .. Me? Well we couldn't be more different

Jen bit her lip .. You know that saying " opposites attracted ? Well I much prefer that ..

Cara scanned Jens eyes for the lie .. She wasn't sure what to think ..

Cara . Let's forget this stupid notion of yours and go to bed ... Jen suggested .. I'll show you who I fancy "

Cara grinned .. Had she got it wrong ?

Had Jen just wanted to be nice ?

Cara wasn't sure .. But she wasn't about to pass up sex with Jen over it

Jen headed into the bathroom to freshen up . Gripping the side of the sink closing her eyes .. She took some deep breaths ..

Taking a good look at herself in the mirror ..

Sex with cara was the last thing she wanted ..

But arguing with her about Tilly all night wasn't appealing either ..

One things for sure she had to be more cautious around Tilly from now on ..

Tilly was pacing the floor biting her nails .

Jane came behind her placing a small kiss on how back of her neck.

Do you think they are ok ? She asked completely ignoring janes attempts to seduce her ...

I dunno " who cares.. Jane shrugged " come over here "?

Jane I think they were arguing.. Jen looked really upset ..

Jane began to laugh " upset ?

Naaah.. Babe .. They don't have that kinda relationship .. If I'm honest they probably don't give a shit about each other . Hence why they don't argue ..

Tilly shook her head .. I think you should check on them " cara's your friend and she was upset ..

Jane sighed .. Ugh babe. . She was pissed. That's all and Jen was probably in a mood because she's left to deal with her .. But

If it makes you feel better " I'll call cara.

Thank you " Tilly smiled biting her nails

As Jen and cara began removing their clothes " cara's bra began to vibrate . Causing Jen to laugh "

I didn't have any pockets" cara smiled. As she checked the called Id before throwing it on the bed

Who is it ? Jen asked

Only Jane "

Answer it " Jen gasped ..

Nah " cara said kissing Jens neck ..

It could be important .. And if you don't she might come banging on the door ..

Cara rolled her eyes picking up her phone " .. What?

Hey " was just checking your ok after you puked you filthy bitch"

Cara laughed " yeah I'm fine .. Or I would be if you didn't interrupt me getting laid ..

Tilly looked of biting her nails as Jane spoke .

Jane began to laugh . Yeah ok ok " we was just checking you two were ok .. Piss off then

Jane shook her head as she cut the call..

Well? Tilly asked .

Well if you call me interrupting them having sex as fine ...well then yeah they are

Tilly's stomach tightened .. Oh" she swallowed.

Talking of which " Jane grinned pushing Tilly on to the bed .

I think we need to take a leaf out of their book ..

Tilly felt a little sick ... The knot in her stomach had again tightened ..

I'm uh .. Not feeling all that great to be honest Jane ... She lied ... I think I just need some sleep "

Jane sighed ...great" Cara gets all the fun .. She moaned under her breath ..

Tilly led down with her back to Jane turning her lamp off ..

I hate this " she thought "

She hated the fact she felt jealous when Jane had mentioned Jen and cara sleeping together ..

But more so she hated the fact she actually cared about it ..

Why was it so easy to ignore the fact she was developing feelings for Jen when Jen wasn't around ? ..

Tilly closed her eyes hoping she would get some sleep ...

With Jen running through her mind that didn't seem likely !


	15. Chapter 15

Tilly sat alone drinking coffee outside the hotel eating area.

The air was warm on her face... Her sunglasses hiding the effects of the wine ...

May I get you a refill ? A young man asked ...

Uh yes... Thank you ... Tilly smiled passing him her empty cup ...

As she sits in a world of her own she hears a familiar laugh ...

Jen and cara had made their way into the restaurant .. Cara was whispering into the brunettes ear making her laugh

Tilly again felt the knot in her stomach again ...

As they order a coffee Jen over hears two waiters talking ...

Take this coffee to the redhead outside then and I'll take breakfast to the newly weds ... One said ." This causing Jen to look out of the huge doors ...

Seeing Tilly sat alone .. She wanted to suggest to cara that they should join Her .. but felt cautious ..

She didn't want cara to bring up the argument that had the previous night

It's warm in here " she moaned .. Shell we go outside ?

Nah" cara shook her head .. My hangover couldn't take it..

Dunno about you but I need something really greasy ... She added looking at the menu..

Tilly watched through her sunglasses as Jen and cara spoke ..

Jen took a seat directly in view of Tilly .. She wanted to see the red head and with cara having her back to the doors it was the prefect opportunity to take in just how beautiful the red head looked in the morning sun ...

So full English ? Cara suggested ..

Not for me " I'm good with just a few hundred coffees.. Jen answered ..

Cara laughed " as she waved the waitress over ...

Jen looked at Tilly at every safe opportunity .. She wanted nothing more then to speak to the redhead ..

Part of her felt sad this maybe the last time for a while she would see Tilly ... She had a feeling cara wasn't going to be offering for couple get togethers any more ...

Although she had Tilly's number and contact was easily reached

she wondered what she would text her about " it's not like she could just see how she was "

Wouldn't that look strange?

As Jen took another glance she was met with Tilly's eyes ...

Checking cara wasn't watching she lifted her hand ... To say hi

Tilly smiled lifting hers back in acknowledgement ..

Tilly unaware of the argument the night before she thought it would be rude not to go and say hello ...

As she made her way to the table Jens heart began to race ... She was praying cara wouldn't be cold towards Tilly ...

Morning" Tilly smiled

Jen smiled .. Morning .

. Cara just nodded from behind her water glass ...

Where's Jane ? She asked

She's uh " hang over .. Tilly explained .. Just before she continued Jane appeared ..

I need a gallon of coffee " she sulked sitting down next to Jen .. I am dying ..

Cara laughed " light weight .

Says you " Jen joked

Yeah says you who puked up half of what you drank last night ... Jane mocked ..

Maybe .. Cara laughed " but at least I don't look like you lot ...

You not eating Jen ? Jane asked ..

Nah " don't have the stomach for it ..

Dunno how .. We worked up a right appetite last night .. I was starving this morning " cara bragged giving Tilly a smug look ...

Jen shifted in her chair " doesn't take much " she muttered ..

Tills sit down babe .. Your making the place look untidy . Jane moaned looking at her girlfriend through squinted eyes ...

Right so anyways I just spoke to David .. His brothers had to leave this morning.. But their rooms were for 2 nights .. So .. Jane winked at Tilly He offered them to us...

Tilly instantly declined ... I can't I have work tomorrow ..

You said you had the bank holiday off? Jane quizzed ..

I know but .. Tilly swallowed " I uh got a call from work this morning they're short staffed sooooo "

Aww babe " Jane sulked .

Oh well " just cause Tilly don't want to stay don't mean we can't " cara smiled .. Let her take her car and we can take you home tomorrow "

No point us all missing out ..

Jen gave her an unimpressed look ..

What you don't want to stay either ?

Cara bitched

Fuck me what is wrong with you people ?

An extra night with you and Jane getting drunk ? Jen moaned .. Brilliant

Ooooh yes... I can imagine you might find it difficult with out The good doctor to keep you company ... Cara tutted...

Here we go " Jen thought ..." Rolling her eyes ..

I'm sure you can try and let your hair down Jen .. Just this once .. Cara added ..

I need to get my stuff together " Tilly said hoping to get away ..

Well Jane ? You stayin ?

Mmmmm I dunno"..

You should " Tilly smiled ... Like cara said .. Why should everyone miss out .. ?

There ya go she's not bothered" cara clapped raising her eyebrows at Jen ..

Sure you don't want to go home as well" she whispered...

Jen was annoyed " excuse me... She fumed getting up walking into the toilets ..

You sure ? Jane asked taking Tilly's hand ...

Mmmmm" Tilly smiled kissing Jane on the top of her head .. Stay and have fun ...

Tilly popped back to her room to pack bed things ... She didn't hAve work but the though have having to endure Cara and Jane drunk for another night wasn't appealing ...

She would much rather a 12 hour shift in A&E on a Saturday night then to stay at the hotel again ..

Beep beep...

Your not really working are you? :) J

Tilly smiled.. .. When Jens name appeared on her screen

Ofcoarse I am .. X T

Jen was taking a moment to calm down ..

Seeing Tilly and feeling unable to talk to her was hard ..

Having cara watching her for signs . Being sarcastic at every available chance had pissed Jen off ..

Mmmmm I believe you " others wouldn't .. I'm sorry about cara"

Hope she didn't offend you .. J...

Cara doesn't bother me lol ..

What's her problem anyways ? T

Long story ... Was hoping we could grab a coffee or something this week?

I'll explain all ! J

Tilly knew alone time with Jen wouldn't be a good idea but her fingers didn't give her chance to think before they typed out the message ..

Love too!

Jen bit her lip feeling warm .

Great, I'll call you then ?

Safe drive home .. Wish I was coming with you :)

Tilly slumped down on to the bed ...

What am I doinnnnnnng" she shouted into the pillow ..

Rolling on to her back looking up at the ceiling ..

It's coffee Tilly ..

Just coffee... Nothing else .. Nothing in it ... Coffee ... Just coffee ... She exhaled heavily ...

I need to get out of here ... She said to herself grabbing her bag leaving the room ...

I don't want you to go " Jane sulked wrapping her arms around Tilly's waist at the car

I kno but I have to go to work " and anyways it's only a day isn't it?

Still " Jane pouted ... Shell I come with you ? I don't mind ..

Tilly shook her head " no don't be silly ... Enjoy the rest of the weekend .. I'll see you after work won't i ?

Kiss me ... Jane pushed her lips into Tilly's...

Jen stood in the hotel window watching as goodbyes...

Bet your wishing she wasn't leaving ... Or you were leaving with her " cara said from behind the brunette ..

Jen folded her arms..ignoring cara's comment ..

Awww look at them kissing don't they Make a cute couple " she teased .. Looking on ...

Laughing under breath .. Your so transparent Jen .. Your thoughts are so read able you might as well paper back em .. Cara added ..

Oh shut up cara" Jen snapped .. She had enough .. I'm sick of this " your snide comments and your sarcasm .

. I told you nothing's going on but you won't let up ..

Cara kept going .. Shell I ask if u can give tills a good bye kiss?

. Grow up will you .. Jen spat as she walked away ..

Cara followed her up to the bedroom ..

What's wrong Jen ? Huh ? The sight of Jane kissing Tilly repulse you that much ...

Or is it that your jealous ? Cara mocked ... Awww does Jen wish it was her ?

I wish I was anywhere but here with you ... Right now ..

Jen began to throw her things into her case ...and I'm not standing here putting up with this .

I love how this is my fault " cara sulked .. Don't tell me ." You got close because Jane I and leave you alone ..

Well I'm soooooo sorry we have a good time

Sadly you two don't know the meaning of the world .

When we first met you were up for anything .. What happened Jen aye? .

You happened .. Jen snapped

And I'm done ..

Done ? Done with what Jen ? Cara demanded to know ...

Done with swooning over someone you can't have ?

I'm down with you " Jen spat

I'm done with your attitude ..

I'm done with the amount of alcohol you drink .

I'm done with what an idiot you make of yourself Every time you drink .

I'm done with the fact you act like a child ..

But most of all cara ... Most of all I'm done with the way you treat people

... You were rude about the woman's dress yesterday ..

You were rude to Tilly ..

Ah there it is .. That name again .. Cara spat ..

Tell me can you go a day with out mentioning her ?

Jen through her bag over her shoulder walking towards the door ..

It's not my fault your obvious intimidated by her ..

She wishes " cara fumed ..

Jen looked cara up and down ... Don't call me .. Because I won't be Calling you ..

Jen slammed the door as she left which was quickly opened by cara ..

And how do you think your getting home ? She called out ..

Jen didn't answer .. She hurried down the stairs and out of the county house ...

Pulling her phone out of her pocket she calls. Hayley...

If rang a few times then went to voicemail ...

H" it's me ...

I'm in the middle of no where " call me a.. Sap I need a lift ..

As she began walking seeing nothing but fields she stopped ...

Holding her phone in her hand for a few seconds ...

Before making the call ..

Hi.. How far away are you ?

Tilly : just got of the county road why ?

Jen : couldn't turn the car around could you ?

Tilly : why? Is everything ok ? Are you ok ?

I am now .. .but uh.. I need a lift ..


	16. Chapter 16

Jen walked for what felt like miles .. The heat was unbearable dragging a small case and her bag on her shoulder wasn't helping .. As she stopped to take her jacket off she heard a car in the distance ..

Please be Tilly " she said to herself ..

As the car pulled up the window went down ..

Going somewhere ? Tilly laughed ..

You are a life saved .. " Jen grinned

Putting her belongings in the boot and taking a seat in the car Jen took a high sigh ..

Actually thought I was gonna have to walk all the way home ...

Hardly it's like 40miles " Tilly said ..

So what happened .?

Ugh" Jen moaned .. Cara happened

Tilly turned the car around and heading back the way she came ..

I thought all was ok with the two of you ? ... You uh ... Looked kinda cosy this morning ..

Jen looked at the red head ... Noticing the change in her voice ...

Far from it .. Was Jens answer..

Look Tilly I think it's best you know .. I mean I don't know what she's going to tell Jane ..

Tell Jane ? Tilly panicked .. Tell her what ?

Jen shook her head looking out of the window ...

Last night when you saw me outside the hotel ... Jen continued .. Well .. Cara and I had an argument .. She uh ...

Well she said some stuff ...

Ok.. Tilly frowned .. Why would Jane need to know about that ?

Well... Jen fiddled with her hands ... The argument was .. Uh .. She swallowed hard ... It was about you ..

Me? Tilly gasped braking hard bringing the car to a stop ...

What do you mean me ?

Jen jointed in her seat ... Woah...

Jen what do you mean me? Tilly urged ..

Jen sighed .. She thinks something's going on ..

What! ? How ? Tilly worried .. I don't get it ..

Ok look calm down ok ... Jen pleaded .. Last night she said she's been watching us ... Well me .. She said I'm to relaxed around you ..

That I'm .. Different "

Different how?

Jen shrugged .. I don't know .. She said that Every time she looked over we were laughing .. Flirty if you like ..

Oh god " Tilly sulked placing her head on the steering wheel ..

Wait ? This was last night right ? Tilly frowned ..

Well how come you two were the way you were this morning .. And when Jane rang last night you to were ... Well . Tilly sighed .. You were busy ..

Jen placed head in her hands " I did that to stop her from going on .. To stop her pushing me .. She wouldn't stop going on about it ..

Great " Tilly fumed .. So she's going to tell Jane something's going one with us ... And I'm gonna have to spend forever trying to convince her other wise ..

And what if janes noticed something ?

You don't have to worry " Jen sulked a little annoyed at how Tilly was handling things

It's not you she's taking about " it's me ..

Tilly looked at Jen ... What?

I need some air .. Jen puffed getting out of the car ...

Tilly followed .. What do you mean it's not me ? .. Jen? What do you mean ?

It's me Tilly " Jen shouted .. It's my body language shes noticed .. It's me she's accusing not you ...

Tilly shook her head confused ..

It's me that looks at you ..

It's me that drapes my arm over your chair ..

It's me that she's accusing of having feelings I shouldn't ..

Jen stopped exhaling loudly ..

Earlier I was watching you leave ... She mocked me .. She made me feel angry .. I lost my temper .. I broke things off And stormed out ..

Tilly leant on the bonnet of the car next to Jen .. She felt bad for raising her voice to her ..

I'm sorry " I just .. I don't know .. I don't even know what I'm doing ..

Jen looked at Tilly out the corner of her eye ...

Well your not alone "

She's gonna think it's because of me you've ended things isn't she ? Tilly asked ..

Probably"

And is it? Tilly asked nervously ..

Jens mouth fell open .. she hadn't expected Tilly to ask such a thing..

No ... It's been coming for a long time " Jen explained ... I've realised that I want more out of life .. Maybe I'm looking to be in a real relationship..

Maybe getting to know you had made me realise that .. I don't know ..

Jen cleared her throat .. All I know is cara isn't for me ..

Tilly nodded her head ... Jen .. I've been with Jane for a long time .. We have our ups and downs but I do love her ..

Jen frowned as Tilly spoke .. She wasn't sure where she was going with this ..

Her keeping me a secret is a huge factor in our relationship but a rare issue ..

I know there's an attraction but .. I can't..

Hold on .. Jen fumed .. Tilly I hope your not saying what I think you are?

Jen was angry she felt like Tilly was pushing the blame on her ..

Please don't sit here and make out this is my fault ...

This isn't one sided and you know it ..

I didn't say that ..

No? Well it feels like you are ... Like your afraid Jane will ask questions so your trying to convince yourself your not feeling anything ..

Not feeling anything ? Tilly snapped .. Jen I've been trying to convince myself for weeks that I'm not attracted to you .. That I don't feel anything ...

That I haven't sudden took a dislike to cara because of you ...

I hate this .. I hate the fact I think of you the way I do ... Tilly ranted ..

I hate the knot I get in my stomach when Jane mentions you or like last night when she said she interrupted you two being intimate ... But more then that ... I hate the fact I'm struggling to be intimate with Jane because of the guilt I have ..

So believe me I defiantly am not trying to pass the buck ...

Jen was speechless ..

Tilly began kicking the stones underneath her feet... Her arms folding like she was guarding herself ..

She was glad her shades hide the emotion in her face ...

The whole time we're together I fight myself not to touch you ... And I still ... After all this time ... I still want to kiss you ..

Jen leant back on the car.. Looking out on to the empty county road ...

This is a mess ... She muttered...

Tilly nodded still looking to the ground ..

Maybe you splitting with cara is a good thing .. Tilly sniffed ...

Maybe not seeing each other will be better for is both ...

Is that what you want ? Jen asked ..

Tilly shook her head .. No" but I know that if we continue seeing each other then well ...

Well I'm going to end up being " that person "

I know that I'm not going to be able to fight this much longer ..

And I really don't want to be the bad guy "

Jen swallowed the lump in her throat .. Licking her lip ...

Maybe you should just drop me into the village ... I can get a train home ..

Tilly looked at Jen for the first time ..

She looked sad ... Which in turn hurt Tilly ..

I don't want to do that ... I'd prefer it if I can drive you home ..

Jen scratched her head ...

I'm sorry ..

Sorry " Tilly frowned..

Mmmm" I'm sorry I came into your life messing it up .. Jen said ...

Tilly laughed under her breath .. You have nothing to be sorry for Jen ... Your not the one with a girlfriend ..

If anything it's me that should be sorry ..

Jen felt emotional .. She knew Tilly was right about not seeing each other but never the less it hurt ..

Can we just go " she asked .. Please

Tilly nodded ..

As they drove the silence was hard for them both ... Both feeling uncomfortable ..

Jens phone began to ring ...

Cara?

Jen shook her head .. My friend .. I need to answer it ..

Hi:

H : wow you sound pissed off ..

J: I'm ok ...

H: ok so in that case .. Why do I need to pick you up from the middle of no place ..

Tilly could hear Hayley ..

J: you don't know .. I'm fine .. Look I'll call you when I get home .

H babe you ok ? You don't sound to good ? Something happened ..

J: we'll talk later ..

H: is this about that doctor?

Tilly raised her eyebrows .. Shocked Jen had confided in someone about her ..

J: I'm fine Hayley .. Please just let me call you later .. Thanks for getting back to me though.

Hayley knew Jen well enough not to push ..

H: ok babe .. I love you ..

J: love you too .. Bye ..

Jen glanced out the window .. Signs for London were showing .. " thank god " she thought ..

You ok ? Tilly asked knowing it was a stupid question ..

Jen nodded .. Still looking out the window ..

Tilly's heart was racing the whole time .. Days ago being alone with Jen would have been a dream come true ..

Now it was the worst place in the world to be.

I'm the next 20 minutes she was about to say good bye to someone who had in the last few weeks filled her life with something new and exciting ..

As she pulled up outside Jens place she locked the doors ..

Jen...

Tilly please .. Can we not ...

Tilly took Jens hand in hers placing it in her lap ...

Look at me "

Jen shook her head ..

Please look at me Jen " Tilly begged squeezing Jens hand .

Jen took a deep breath looking in Tilly's direction ..

Your amazing " she began ..

Jen rolled her eyes trying to remove her hand from Tilly's .. Tilly held on tight..

I think your beautiful " talented " fun to be around "

I love how you make me feel good about myself .. I love how you want to know about my day .. My work .. My likes and dislikes .. My family ..

Tilly we don't have to do this .. Jen interrupted ..

I need to Jen " I need to say this ..

Tilly took a deep breath ..

Right now I feel like I'm losing something special .. I feel like I'm losing a best friend ..

I don't want you to get out of my car and I never see or here from you again ..

Jen pulled her hand away ... It has to be this way Tilly ... You said yourself you can't trust yourself ..

Well nor can I ... And I don't have a girlfriend so there is nothing stopping me ..

Tilly ... I want you ... I want you more then I've every wanted anyone ..

And I'm not talking in my bed ... What I feel for you runs deeper then that ...

And if I'm honest .. I can't be your friend ..

I'm sorry ..

Jen got out of the car quickly ...

Grabbing her bags from the boot ...

Take care Tilly ...

And with that she disappeared into the building ..

Tilly sat numb ... Tears fell from her eyes ..

Jen had disappeared from her life seconds ago and already she was missing her ..


	17. Chapter 17

I quickly wanna say a BIG THANK YOU .. To you all for continuing to read these fanfics ..your reviews are all lovely and make me happy to continue writing .. And I'm glad your still enjoying xxx

2 days had passes since Jen and Tilly said goodbye to one another ..

Tilly had gone back to work which helped keep her mind off things ...

She had finally replied to her friend Sarah's messages and had arranged to have dinner that night ...

Jen was still off on half term .. She was bored of having not much to do taking a walk to clear her had hadn't helped .. Her internal monologue screaming at her constantly for refusing to keep in touch with Tilly ...

Her painting helped her drift away from reality but even that was wearing off ..

As she climbed the stairs to her apartment she was met with a familiar face .

What do you want ?

That's not very friendly is it! ? Cara groaned ..

I came to see if you've calmed down yet?

Well you've a wasted journey haven't you ? Jen spat placing her key in the door ..

Jen wait " cara begged " look I know I've been a complete bitch .. And I know I have a big mouth .. But I am sorry ..

Jen stood still .. Waiting for cara to continue ..

Look the whole Tilly thing was stupid of me .. I know that now ..

I guess I was jealous ..

Jen laughed " of what ? An arm draped over a chair ?

Cara shook her head ... No .. I was jealous because you liked her ..

I like a lot of people cara"

Cara rolled her eyes " no Jen you really like her .. I'm not stupid .. But look I don't want to talk about it ..

You said nothing's going on so I believe you ..

Cara approached Jens personal space.

So what do you say about us forgetting all this? " she smiled playing with Jens hair ..

Jen pushed her hand away .. We're done cara ..

As Jen turned the key opening the door .. . Cara grabbed her from behind pushing her lips into Jens neck ..

But we're so good together " she muttered underneath her kiss..

And You know it "

Jen closed her eyes for a second ..

As much as she hated it " her body responded positively to cara's touch ..

Letting out a huge sigh Jen whispered " we would be wasting each other's time "

So .. Cara laughed .. We're wasting time stood out here..

As Jen opened the door they fell into the apartment .. Cara pushed Jen up against the wall .. Kissing her hungrily...

I missed you " she whispered as she cupped Jens breast ..

Jens mind was blank she hadn't time to assess what was happening .. Her body was reacting to cara ..

Cara kissed Jens neck sucking her skin .. Jen let out a little moan which told cara she was allowed to have her way ..

As she moved her way underneath Jens shirt placing her hand between Jens legs .. Jen came to her sense ..

Nooooooo" she fumed pushing cara away ... No cara ..

This isn't what I want ..

Cara laughed .. That's not the impression I'm getting " she smirked stepping closer to Jen ...

Jen shook her head ... I think you need to leave ..

Jen " for fuck sake . Cara sulked " I said sorry .. What's the big deal ..

Jen swallowed .. " the deal is I don't want this .. She explained pointing to herself and cara .. I want more ..

Cara shrugged " ok fine .. I'll give you more "

Jen shook her head .. No .. I mean I want more .. But I don't want it with you .. And I'm sorry .. She added ... I'm sorry that sounds harsh.. But it's the truth ..

Cara frowned .. Jens words actually cut her a little ...

C'mon " this was never meant to be serious .. Jen said trying to lighten the blow .. " you don't want to be with me ! .. I'm boring compared to you .. Your lively and fun .. I'm serious and reserved

Cara shook her head " your not "

I am " Jen laughed " compared to you I am .. God I'd bore you to death in a month .. ..

We have nothing in common ..

Cara stood still watching Jen ..

Can I ask you something ? She muttered .. And I just want you to be honest ..

Jen exhaled .. She knew what was coming .. Ok

Cara bite her lip ... Tilly?

What about her ? Jen sniffed ..

You fell for her didn't you ? Cara asked .. You actually have feelings for her ?

Jen fiddled with her hands .. Cara watched and sighed .. "Wow"

Wow what ? Jen asked " I didn't say anything

Cara shook her head " you didn't have too.. Your body language says it all ...

You may think I didn't care to much for you Jen but I do.. I see things .. I notice things ..

Jen just looked at cara .. She didn't have the words or the energy to lie ..

Does she feel the same ?

Jen closed her eyes for a second .. She really didn't want to talk about Tilly .. Especially with cara ..

She's with Jane " was Jens reply ..

I didn't ask that " cara said sternly

Jen raised her voice " she loves Jane " cara ..

So ? Cara shrugged . That doesn't mean anything .. I asked you if she feels the same Jen ?

" just because people are in love with other people don't mean they can't fall for someone else ..

So I'll ask you again .. Does Tilly feel the same ?

Jen felt her anger boil over ..

Ok you want an answer? Fine ..

Yes I have feelings for Tilly ..

Do I want them ? No

.. Do I want to want someone I can't have ? No ..

Her feelings for me doesn't matter .. She's with Jane .. She loves Jane .. And unlike some .. She values her relationship .. So I guess the answer is no... No she doesn't feel the same ..

Cara laughed .. Of coarse she does .. You know it .. She knows it .. And I know it ..

has anything happens between you ?

What.? No .. Nothing .. I swear " Jen panicked

Cara nodded .. Well I guess we're done .. She added walking towards the door ..

You know what Jen " no one should settle for second best ..

Jen frowned ..

What do you mean ?

Cara shrugged " well Tilly shouldn't have bothered fighting her feelings .

Jane isn't an angel ..

I don't follow " what are you saying ? Jen asked confused ..

Cara laughed under her breath . I slept with Jane ..

Jens looked shocked .. What? When ?

The day after the wedding " when you pissed off ..

As cara opened the door she turned to Jen .. So Iike I said .. All that fighting was for nothing ..

Seems Tilly values their relationship more then she does aye ?


	18. Chapter 18

Rewind back to the wedding ..

Cara strolled into the bar area of the hotel .. Taking a seat next to Jane..

Whisky please .. She asked the bar tenders ... Large ..

Ouch " Jane laughed " busy up with the missus ?

Something like that " cara sulked downing her drink ..

Raising her eye brows to order another ...

She's pissed off ..

What ? Jane frowned .. Where?

Dunno " don't care .. Cara sulked ..

Cara " we are in the middle of no where " how .. Where .. ?

I don't know Jane . She's being an Idiot .. She dumped me aswell

Jane raised her eyebrows ..wow..

Maybe she got a cab ?

She can walk for all I care .. You know I'm glad she's gone .. I'm tired of her being a bore .. She moans I drink .. She moans I party ..

She moans you kiss other women " Jane added with a chuckle .

Mmmm" except she don't .. She couldn't care less .. And you know what? That pisses me off as well

Why ? Jane frowned .. Your the one who does it ! You the one that was happy for a no stress fuck buddy ..

Yeah well maybe.. Just maybe it wouldn't hurt for her to show some emotion towards me .. ..

Ahh well I can't sit her giving you relationship advice when me and tilly have done nothing but argue lately ...

Mmmm wonder why? Cara muttered under her breath .. " yeah well they can both Piss off .. We have a free hotel room and free booze

so let's not sit here moaning about the boring cows and have some fun..

Jane held her glass up " I'll second that ..

The friends sat at the bar most of the day taking full advantage of the freebies..

So I went out with this one girl .. She was so inexperienced it was almost funny ..everytime we would get it on .. And I touched her she would giggle ..

What ? Jane laughed almost spitting out her drink ..

Swear Down.. We would be kissing and stuff and I'll have a feel of her boobs and well ... She just laughed ..

Needless to say I didn't see her for to long.. Cara giggled ..

So did you ? Jane asked .. I mean did you actually get to do her?

Yeah coarse " cara smirked .. After I got her drunk .. Did the dirty then binned her ..

Oh your all heart" Jane joked ..

Yeah well that's me .. Cara smiled .. So c'mon .. Let's be honest " when you going to tell your family your a dyke ?

Do you have to use that word ? Jane moaned .. I hate it ..

Well my dear " cara said sinking more alcohol .. That is what you are .. A big dykey homo..

Fuck off " Jane laughed nudging her drunk friend ..

I been thinking about it for ages though .. I know it's causing friction between me and Tilly .. But I just can't .. I mean I can't find the words ..

Cara swallows the mouthful of liquid in her mouth .. Here I have the words for you ..

Mum ' dad ' there's something I have to tell you ..

I don't like men .. And I'm afraid of the cock .. So I've become a lesbo.. She laughed loudly ..

But don't worry .. The bird I've been knocking off for 2 years is a doctor .. So cha Ching ... It's all about the money..

Your not funny " Jane laughed .. I know what I have to say I just can't do it .. Not yet anyways

When then ? Cara asked .. When you and Tilly get married? When one of you pop a sprog out ?

Get real Jane .. You ain't never gonna tell them and you know it ..

Jane sat pondering for a few moments ..

Why are we talking about this ? Let's just get pissed and have a good time ..

Half way there angel " cara smiled clinking her glass against janes ..

It was close to 8.30 and the music in the other room began to play out ..

Tunes" cara clapped .. Yes ..

Let's dance .. Jane cheered grabbing a bottle of champagne off the bar ..

The room had filled with hotel guest all enjoying the band that was playing ..

An evening of taping feet and drumming fingers on tables were not what these drunken friends have in common ..

Cara holding a champagne bottle in one hand a full glass in the other began dancing in the middle of the room ..

Wooooooo.. She wailed .. Jane come on..

Jane holding up another champagne bottle cheers .. Began dancing towards cara ..

Some guest found them annoying while others laughed ..

Come on " cara called out .. Get up and dance ..

Jane laughed historically as cara approached guests pulling them to their feet ..

The band began to play an upbeat song is response to cara's handy work ..

Half the guest were on their feet .. Cara dancing with most of them ..

Jane began to loosen up the more the champagne took hold ..

The pair singing at the top of their lungs ..

This is such a laugh " Jane called out ..

Yeah it is .. Just think .. If the boring ones were here they would be sat in the corner frowning at us..

Jane laughed .. Awww don't be mean..

Mean ? Don't get me started .. Cara warned with a smile ..

Let get some more booze ..

As they heads out to the bar cara orders another bottle of champagne ..

I'm sorry madam but the bar is now closed .. Explained the bar tender..

What ? Aww c'mon .. Cara sulked ..

I'm sorry " we shut at 11.30 .. I did call last orders ..

Fuck .. Cara slammed her hands down on the bar..

Sorry" the bartender said as he walked away ..

Cara watched him leave and ran behind the bar ..

What you doing? Jane whispered laughing ..

Shhhhhh" cara laughed .. Grabbing a bottle of champagne out the fridge ...

I won't have him tell me the parties over " she joked grabbing Jane running to the lift ...

Let's go to our room ..

Our room ? Which one ? Jane asked ..

Mine it's nearer.. ..

Cara opened the door bouncing on to the bed .. " fuck me that was a l

Laugh ..

I know " Jane smiled opening the door to the balcony ..

I feel a bit sick ..

Cara laughed " you light weight .. She said as she followed ..

Just need some air " Jane explained taking the bottle off cara ..

Woooooo" she cheered as she popped the cork ..

Hey do you think that bloke will notice we took this ?

Who cares " cara laughed taking the bottle back swigging from it ..

Jane sighed heavily ..

What's up ? Cara asked sitting in the floor ..

Not worrying about doctor bore are you !

Oi.. Jane moaned .. No.. She's ok I'm sure .. She's just pissed me off abit .. She hadn't even texted me ..

Ah well fuck it " cara laughed .

She ain't all that you know " dunno what the big deal is ..

Jane raised her eye brows... That's my girlfriend your talking about ..

So " cara laughed passing Jane the bottle ..

Jane sat beside her friend ..

I love her .. I really do .. But sometimes .. ... Well sometimes she pisses me off ..

Her work pisses me off .. It always come first .. The whole separate flats piss me off .. The fact she drives all the time and don't drink pisses me off..

So she pisses you off ? Great cara interrupted ..

Oooo someone still upset about Miss Picasso .. Jane joked .,

No... I don't care.. I'll go to the club and pull when we go home ..

You liked Jen " Jane teased ..

Yeah well she can do one .. I won't be second best to no one ..

Second best ? Jane frowned ..

Cara nodded swigging from the bottle .. She's after someone else .. Like she actually likes this girl ..

Who is it ? Jane asked ..

Cara laughed thinking " wouldn't you like to know "

Just some other equally boring bitch ..

But I won't dwell on it.. She smiled .. " I'm gonna be a right whore when I go out ..

Jane laughed .. I miss them days .. You know the days where you can just be free ..

Go out " pull a bird ., take her home " get what you want then send them packing ..

Cara nodded " and now you get to make love And hold hands after .. Spoon till morning " she joked ..

Ha .. I'll settle for a bit of spooning these days .. Jane sulked .. " to say my sex life is dry is an understatement ..

Well you need to spice it up .. Cara said .,

How? Jane moaned .. Tilly's either working nights .. To tired or we've have a fight ..

Cara passed Jane the bottle .. Who said anything about Tilly ?

Funny " Jane rolled her eyes ..

I'm not laughing " cara said suddenly becoming serious ..

Jane noticed the look on cara's face

As tempting as it is .. I couldn't go out and sleep with a stranger anymore .. ..

Cara raised to her knees leaning towards her friend ..

Who said any thing about a stranger ?

Jane felt slightly embarrassed .. And nervous .. " cara .. I uh ..

Before Jane could finish cara had kissed her ..

Cara .. Jane panicked " what you doing ?

Having a good time " what does it look like ?

It looks like your coming on to me" Jane laughed ..

Cara smiled .. What's wrong with that ? 2 mates having a laugh .. Your frustrated .. We both been shit on this weekend .. So why not ?

No come backs" no drama " nothing to worry about .. Live a little Jane ..

She added leaning back in to kiss Jane ...

But Tilly " Jane whispered ..

I won't tell if you don't? Cara muttered placing her lips on janes ..

Jane gasped .. Cara felt good .. She had craved this kind of attention for so long ..

Cara " she muttered ..

Cara forced her tongue into janes mouth .. Kissing her forcefully ..

Something ignited inside Jane and she went with it ..

Pulling at cara's top .. Lifting it over her head ..

Cara laughed kissing her friend harder ..

There in that moment cara felt like she had gotten one over on Tilly .. If she could have Jen

then cara would have Jane ..


	19. Chapter 19

Tilly finished work quickly racing home to have a shower and head over to her friend Sarah's

She hadn't seen Sarah for sometime due to her work load .

Sarah had sent her loads of messages over the last few weeks demanding to see her ..

As the door opens Tilly cringed ..

I know " I'm a really shit friend

Yes you are " now get your ass in here " Sarah laughed hugging the red head ..

Missed you " Tilly whispered squeezing her friend ..

Sarah pulled away " what's wrong ?

Tilly forced a smile " nothing ..

Liar "

I'm not " Tilly laughed ..

Sarah wrapped her arm around Tilly neck showing her into the kitchen ..

I can see it .. Told you before " nothing gets past me.. So?

Tilly sighed " I came to see you not moan about my life

Yeah well if we can't talk about the tales of my lesbian doctor friend what else can we talk about ? Sarah joked

Tilly rolled her eyes .. My life isn't that exciting .

.

Well it's got to be better then mine " Sarah sulked .. So tell me what's up?

Jane pissed you off ?

I wish it was that .. Tilly muttered scratching her arm ..

Shell I put the kettle on ?

I'd prefer wine" Tilly answered ..

Ah yeah well ... I'm uh detoxing .. Sarah smiled

Tilly frowned " since when?

Sarah laughed " since Simon got me up the duff ..

Tilly's jaw dropped .. Oh my god " are you serious ?

Sarah smiled with a nod ..

Wow .. Congratulations. Tilly screeched hugging her friend then touching her tummy ..

I can't believe it .. Wow

Mmmm I was a little shocked myself ..

Tilly couldn't stop smiling .. I can't believe it .. So how far ?

Just had my 12 week scan .. Sarah informed her ..

12 weeks? The redhead gasped .. 12 weeks and I'm only finding out now ?

Well miss if you returned my calls you would of known ..

Tilly sighed .. Yeah I know .. I'm shit ..

Well " Sarah said sitting next to her friend .. I haven't seen or heard from you .. which tells me that something's occupying that overly large brain of yours "

Tilly laughed under her breath ...

I've somehow .. Kind of .. Accidentally got myself into a situation .. She explained ..

Go on" Sarah frowned ..

Tilly exhaled quickly .. Basically .. Jane works with this girl .. Cara..

When ever they are together they become complete alcoholics ..

Anyways ... Cara has this .. Girl friend .. Well I say girlfriend .. They're more ..

Fuck buddies? Cara said finishing Tilly's sentence

Mmmmm" Tilly bit her lip ... Jen ...

She's an art teacher ..

Sarah noticed the change in Tilly's body language as she mentioned Jens name..

So is this "Jen " the situation you've got yourself in?

Tilly closed her eyes sighing heavily

tut . Sarah.." She's amazing

.. She's intelligent

.shes talented .

Shes great company

. She's easy to talk to ..

She's beautiful

..she gets me painting she makes me feel so comfortable

.. We talk for hours and it feels like 5 minutes

.. I feel relaxed when I'm around her

Tills .. Don't tell me you've been having it away behind janes back ? Sarah laughed ..

What? Tilly panicked . No .. No I haven't .. Nothing's happened ..

Well .. Nothing physically anyways .

.

But you want to ? Sarah asked

Tilly nodded .. I almost did .. Well not "that" but I almost kissed her..

God I wanted to so badly

.. And I have done ever since .. I just can't. She sulked ..

Sarah she give me butterflies ..

And does she feels the same?

Tilly nodded .. Yeah .. Yeah she does . But I can't .. I can't be " that " person .. The one who cheats .. Who breaks jane's heart.. I just can't .

Sarah made the coffee then sat beside Tilly leaning on the kitchen counter ..

You know babe . For as long as I've known you.. You've always thought about others... Other peoples feelings .. Other peoples well being ..

You always want to know people are ok .. And if they're not .. You wanna know what you can do to change that ... Sarah told her friend ..

And that's a good quality to have ..

I mean you've been there for me more times then I Remember ..She smiled holding Tilly's hand ..

But what I'd like to know is ... When ? .. When does Tilly start thinking about what's best for Tilly ?

When are you going to be more concerned about what makes you happy ?

Does Jane make you happy ?

Coarse she does " Tilly answered unconvincingly ..

So she's out ? To her family now is she ? Sarah asked

Tilly shook her head ..

Ok .. So your still a secret .. 2 and a half years on and your still a secret .. ?

How does that make you happy .?

Tilly placed her hand over her eyes .. She knew Sarah was straight talking but it was hard to hear ..

It's complicated .. She muttered .

For who tills? Sarah fumed ..

Look im not jane's bigger fan .. I admit that .. We've never really clicked ..

But .. She's never going to admit what she is ..

She moved to London for god sake .. All this way so she can be who she wants to be .. What kind of family does she have that she's so afraid ?

You've met them haven't you ?

Are they really that bad ?

Tilly tilted her head... I actually think they're quite nice ..

Right so why then ? Why won't she want to show you off ? Sarah said ..

Babe look .. I know this is hard for you " I know you don't agree with cheating and all that palaver ... So there must be something ..

Something between you and this Jen for you to even consider anything like that ..

Tilly didn't answer.. She just stated in front of her taking in what Sarah was saying ..

I just want you to be happy babe.. Sarah added softly realising she may have been a bit blunt ..

I know .. Tilly smiled .. And you're right .. Jane will never be open to her family .. But I can't leave her because of that

I barely know Jen .. And anyways .. I won't be seeing Her again

What ? Sarah frowned.. Why?

Tilly swallowed .. We talked. I told her I have feelings for her ... But I'm in a relationship ..

She told me she feels the same

But we can't be friends because she doesn't trust herself ..

Shit" Sarah pouted " so what happens now?

You just gonna plod along with Jane !?

Pretend your happy.. Force yourself to be happy ?

It wouldn't be forced .. I was happy ..

Was tills " until someone showed you that there's more out there for you " Sarah said ..

Don't settle babe .. Don't go through life wishing you were somewhere else .. With someone else ..

This Jen" I mean what she after ? A fling ? Sex? Relationship ? What?

Tilly shrugged .. I don't know .. I mean I do .. I know she isn't after sex or anything like that .. As for relationship ? She shrugged again ..

She has broke it off with that cara though .. She said she's realised she wants more ..

Sarah slammed her hands done on the counter ..

There you go then " that's your answer... Falling for you has made her see she wants a relationship..

Tilly placed her head on the counter .." Why me? I mean really? Why does this have to happen to me ..

Sarah rubbed her friends back ..

Some people call it lucky ..

Lucky ? Tilly moaned

It's not everyday you find someone you connect with .. Sarah smiled .

You just don't like Jane " Tilly laughed ..

No I don't . I admit that .. But if she was the one for you " then I would accept that .. But she isn't ..

She's gonna live in Narnia all her life tills.. You know that.. Question is ..

Are you gonna be happy living there with her ?

My advice " go see Jen... Talk to her properly .. Find out what she wants from you .

Seeing her isn't cheating ..

And there's nothing wrong with weighing up ones options " Sarah winked ..

Why do you alway make things sound so simple ? Tilly laughed ..

Because my ginger friend .. Most if the time it is .. Sarah chuckled ..

Would you really be ok with not seeing this Jen again?

Tilly bit on her bottom lip shaking her head ..

So go see her...

Tilly thought about it for a moment ..

Maybe her and Jen could just talk .. It wouldn't be a bad thing .. They can be adults about the whole thing ..

Sarah pulled Tilly's phone out of her bag ..

See what she's up too?

Tilly took the phone staring at it for what felt like forever ..

Hi Jen .. Sarah said ... Are you busy? Can I come over ..

Yes ok " Tilly laughed .. I'm pretty sure I'm capable of typing out a message .

Do it then .. Sarah urged ..

Tilly bit her nail whilst typing ..

Hey Jen ..

Can we meet ? T

Showing Sarah she pressed send ..

That will do ...

Almost instantly Tilly's phone beeped ..

That was quick " Sarah gasped ..

Mmm" Tilly hummed nervously .. As she opened the message ..

I'd like that x J

Nice work Matilda .. " Sarah winked sipping her coffee ..


	20. Chapter 20

Jen and Tilly share a few more text messages .. Arranging to meet the day after ...

Tilly was at work contemplating if meeting Jen was a good idea..

You ok ? Smiled Tilly's friend Ben..

Ben and Tilly had attended Uni together .. Once Tilly got her placement she pulled strings to get Ben a job ...

Mmmm" smiled Tilly .. Just been a busy day "

Well we both get off in half hour " how about we go for a drink ?

Tilly but her lip .. I can't tonight .. I have somewhere I need to be "

Oh do tell ? Ben grinned ..

It's nothing exciting .. Tilly shrugged .. I'm uh.. Just catching up with a friend..

Friend friend ? Or a friiiiiend friend " ? Ben teased ..

Tilly rolled her eyes " you do remEmber I have a girlfriend ?

Ben screwed his face up .. " yeah so What's that got to do with anything ?

Bennnnnnn" Tilly fumed ..

Ok ok .. I won't push .. He smiled leaning into Tilly's ear .. Just let me know the gossip tomorrow yeah ?

Tilly slapped his arm playfully ... Stop it ..

Ben winked and headed off to finish his rounds ..

Tilly slouched down in her chair .. Rolling a pen over her top lip...

Was Sarah's idea really a good one ?

Would seeing or speaking to Jen be the right thing to do ?

As she weighed up the pros and cons her phone beeped ..

Hey "

Are we still on for tonight ? J

Tilly stomach fluttered ..

She sighed heavily .. Butterflies at the sight of her name" she moaned to herself ... How am I gonna get through the evening ?

Tilly wondered if maybe it was better to cancel .. This would be the ideal time to make an excuse ..

Maybe she could say she had to work ? An emergency ?

She tapped her phone in her hand for a few seconds ..

Or we could rearrange if your busy? came another message ..

Tilly bit her lip .. It was her idea to meet .. She couldn't really cancel ..

I'll be there x T

Once she sent the message her felt a little sick ..

In the next hour or so she would be face to face with the women who makes her heart skip a beat ..

Jen rushed home from work .. She wanted to give the flat a bit of a clean ..

Quickly running the Hoover over .. And plumping the pillows ..

Double checking every room was tidy ..

Feeling please with herself she jumped in the shower ..

Wondering what she should wear ?

Does she go casual ?

Should she dress to impress ?

The constant questions she was throwing at herself were making her nervous ..

Jen settled on a blouse and a flowery skirt..

Let Tilly think she had been in it all day .. She didn't want to look like she had made an effort ..

Checking herself in the mirror as she applied some lip gloss .. She cringed .. Stroking her neck .. Cara had left a mark on her skin ..

Jen tried to hide it with make up and then lifted her collar .. Hoping it was enough

Ok .. Jen sighed straightening her skirt ..

Done...

Tilly was due at 7pm.. As Jen pulled the wine out the fridge she noticed Tilly was late ..

Maybe she changed her mind ?

Maybe she didn't want to see Jen again?

Jen poured a large glass of wine . Sinking in it one gulp ..

It was 7.10pm ..

She isn't coming " Jen sulked to herself ..

She isn't coming ...

Just when Jen gave up hope there was a knock at the door ...

Jen sunk more wine .. Inhaling deeply exhaling fast ..

Hi" Tilly smiled as Jen opened the door ..

Hey . Jen replied opening the door to allow Tilly to come inside ...

Can I uh ... Get you a drink? Jen asked nervously ..

Coffee would be good" Tilly smiled ..

Jen nodded flicking on the kettle ...

So how are you?

I'm ok.. Tilly nodded .. You?

Yeah .. Jen grinned .. I'm fine ..

Yeah I uh...see that " Tilly pointed to Jens neck ..

Oh no " Jen panicked holding her hand over the mark ..

Its not what you think! .. I mean it is what it looks like but it's ...

It's none of my business Jen" Tilly interrupted..

Jen felt deflated .. She didn't want Tilly to think she had quickly moved on from cara ..

Cara came round .. She began .. She uh... I don't know I .. I guess she thought that if she gave me a few days to calm down everything would be back to the way they were ..

Jen you really don't have to explain ..

I know .. I want to.. Jen continued..

She kind of caught me off guard .. Needless to say I quickly came to my senses and sent her on her way.

so your not back together ? Tilly asked

God no .. Jen laughed under her breath .. Cara and I are defiantly over ..

Jen pondered for a few seconds remembering what cara had disclosed to her ..

Tilly Listen .. Cara she uh.. She told me som...

Can we not ? Tilly stopped her .. I don't want to talk about her .. Or Jane .

Jen realised maybe this wasn't the time to tell Tilly ..

Ok... What did you want to talk about ?

Tilly swallowed .. I don't know .. If I'm honest I don't really know why I'm here .. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore .. I know you said we can't be "just friends " and your right ..

Jen handed Tilly a coffee and sat on her sofa leaving enough room for Tilly to join her ...

Tilly hoovered for a moment before taking a seat on the opposite sofa

Jen I uh .. I've been feeling a little lost lately .. Tilly began .. I don't know what's happening to me ..

My friend Sarah told me I need to start thinking of me That's kind of why I'm here ..

She uh .. She's gave me food for thought ..

About? Jen asked

Tilly rolled her eyes .. God about everything .. My life .. Me .. Jane ... Me and Jane ...and You ..

Me? Jen gaped ..

Tilly nodded .. Jen I don't know how this happened..

I mean we haven't known each other long .. And yet I feel like I've known you my whole life .. I've told you things about me that not even Jane knows ...

I can help but feel I'm being disloyal to Jane ... everytime I'm with you .. I feel like I'm doing wrong

Jen sighed .. Tilly .. We have a connection that's obvious .. But we haven't done anything wrong

I have Jen .. I have .. I'm doing wrong ..

No Tilly .. Your not .. Yes we are attracted to each other .. Jen admitted ..

But so what ? We haven't done anything physically wrong ..

Physically no .. But for who long ? Tilly asked shaking her head .. But what about mentally ? Mentally I have .. mentally I cheat on Jane every day ..

Every time I'm with you Like this

Every time I think about you .. Every time Jen .. Every time you cross my mind .. I cheat ..

Tilly got off the sofa and began to pace the floor ..

I can't do this .. She moaned shaking her hands at her side ..

I can't cope with what this is doing to me .. How I feel .. How you make me feel ..

How quickly this has happened.. She added standing still looking fully at Jen ..

I need to know Jen.. Is this one sided?

Or Do you have any of this going on ?

Jen cleared her throat .." Of coarse I do .. I feel the same way ..

And I hate myself for it ..

Part of me wishes we never met ..

The other part of me kicked myself for ending things with cara because it meant I might not see you again ..

Spending time with you made me realise that I don't want " friends with benefits " I don't want someone to call when I'm bored ...

someone I can come home to at night .. I want someone I can cuddle up with ..

I want someone to want me .. All of me .. I can't stop myself from feeling the way I do about you Tilly ...

I think about you all the time .. Tilly muttered honestly ..

Jen nodded ...I don't want you to feel pressured ..

Pressured ? Tilly shook her head .. I'm standing here fighting with myself

Tilly said ... I have to use all the strength I have not to grab hold of you and kiss you !

Jens eyes widened ..

Tilly's honestly had taken her by surprise

She had to tell Tilly about Jane and cara .. She knew Tilly needed to know .. At least then she wouldn't keep beating herself up for having the feelings she did ..

Tilly look.. There's something you need to know ... Jen swallowed ..

Please Jen .. I need to say this ..Tilly pleaded ..

I need you know what in feeling And I need you to understand why I can't act on them ..

Jen felt annoyed that Tilly was thinking of Jane and putting her own feelings aside .. When Jane didn't deserve it ..

Please Tilly...

Tilly sat next to Jen linking her fingers with her own ..

I dreamt about you .. Tilly smiled looking at there hands entwined together ..

I dreamt about what it would feel like to touch you .. To kiss you ... To make lo... Tilly sighed ...

I need to know how you feel Jen ? .. I need to know your not just looking for a "good time"

And that all this isn't for nothing ?

Jen knew this wasn't the time to tell Tilly ... She worried Tilly would think she's only told her in hope Tilly would stop caring about Jane and give in to her ..

Tilly ... Jen sniffed... I think you're amazing .. I've never met anyone that makes me smile the way you do .. You give me butterflies .. I'm certainly not in the habit of getting involved with unavailable women for a "good time"

And it's hard for me too.. It's hard to have all this going on knowing I have no chance ..

Tilly squeezed Jens hands .. ..

Jane and I can't survive this .. Not now ..

What are you saying " Jen gasped learning Closer to Tilly ..

I'm saying that ... I have to end things with Jane ... Tilly explained shaking her head ..

It's unfair ... I can't trust myself .. I'm fighting now but for how long ?

Jen .. I want you and .. And I know it's only a matter of time before I can't control myself ..

Jens heart was racing .. Her internal monologue was screaming at her to tell Tilly .. Tell her .. Tell her ...

Tilly .. Jane doesn't deserve yo..

I know she doesn't .. Tilly butted in .. And that's why I have to do what's right .. I need to tell her the truth ..

No Tilly .. No you don't .. She ...

Tilly placed her finger on Jens mouth to stop her talking ...

It's ok .. The red head smiled ... It's not for you to worry about .. It's on me ...

But for now ... For now I just want to forget about all that .. Pretend it isn't an issue ..

Tilly placed her head on the back of the sofa stroking Jens hand ...

Can we just hang out ? Like this ?

Jen was so close .. Why couldn't she just say the words ? Why did she keep letting Tilly interrupt her ?

Jen smiled leaning back on the sofa pulling her legs up so that her and Tilly were almost snuggling ..

I'd like that ...

The pair spent a lot of the evening just holding hands staring at each other .. The silence wasn't uncomfortable .. And the need to make conversation wasn't there ..

Jen woke realising her and Tilly must have fallen asleep ..

Tilly was curled up to Jens side .. She looked so beautiful .. Her hair hanging loosely over her eyes ...

Jen checked the time it was almost 12.30am ...

She say watching Tilly sleep contemplating whether to wake the red head all not ..

She knew if she woke her there was a chance Tilly might leave .. And that was something Jen wasn't ready for ..

Pulling the blanket that lay across the back of the sofa over the pair of them .. Jen gently moved Tilly's head so they could both be comfortable ..

Lying with Tilly in her arms felt right ..

She felt like she was hers ..

Jen decided that in the morning she would tell Tilly about Jane and cara hoping upon hope Tilly doesn't hate her for it ...


	21. Chapter 21

Jen woke with a creek in her neck ... She rubbed her eyes to wake herald up a bit more before remembering Tilly had spent the night ..

Tilly ? She called out ... Tilly?

Jen checked the kitchen and bathroom seeing no sign of the red head ..

Slumping back down on the sofa she picked up her phone .

No message ...

Why had she left without saying anything ?

Jen started to feel uneasy .. What if Tilly had woken up and regretted staying over ?

What if she freaked out and ran for the hills ..

What if she changed her mind about ending things with Jane ?

Jen felt sad .. She loved having Tilly in her arms all night .. Now she was sat alone wondering what Tilly was thinking ?

Jen knew her day would be consumed with thoughts of Tilly so she bit the bullet and texted her instead ..

Hey..

You're not here ... Did I do something wrong ? J

Her phone beeped instantly ..

I'm so sorry ..

You did nothing wrong at all .. I just had to leave for work and didn't want to wake you . X T

...

I thought maybe you panicked x J

...

No :) .. You just looked peacefully beautiful ...T x

Jen smiled .. As another text came through ..

I'm not feeling good about speaking to Jane though .. I think I need a few days..

Jen sighed .. She hated how Tilly felt so bad when there was no need .. Jane is the one who done wrong ..

Jen wasn't going to allow her and cara to get away with treating Tilly so badly ...

Of coarse ! I understand no pressure xxx J

Jen had something's packed belonging to cara .. She had been meaning to drop it off to her .. Today seemed like a good day ..

Showering quick she headed out to the estate agents where cara worked ..

Jen " cara grinned ..

I have some belongings of yours " Jen said sternly placing the box on the desk ...

Oh" cara nodded looking through the box ..

Thanks .. But I could of come over for it " cara winked ..

Saved you the trip " Jen said matter of fact ..

Jen " can we talk? Please ..

There's nothing to talk about .. Jen said heading to the door before stopping ..

Actually there is one thing ..

And that is ? Cara smirked a ring cock sure of herself ..

You and Jane "

Cara frowned . What about it .. ?

I hate the fact you told me " Jen said .. I hate that Tilly doesn't know ..

Jane appeared from another room ..

Hi Jen " she smiled ..

Her smiled soon turning into a frowned when she sensed the tension ...

What's up ?

I know about you and her .. Jen nodded in cara's direction ..

What? Jane gasped .. Caaaaraaaa"

What ? Cara sulked .. I didn't mean to tell her ..

You idiot .. Jen look .. Jane said trying to keep calm .. I know what we did was stupid ..

And I promise it was a complete one off.. Wasn't it cara ?

Cara nodded ..

Please Jen .. I'm begging you .. Don't tell Tilly .. I'll lose her .. I love her .. Please ..

You love her ? Jen asked ... Yet you cheat on her ..

I was a one off .. We were drunk . Really drunk ... Please don't tell her ..

I won't .. Jen said ...

Jane closed her eyes relieved ..

But you will .. Jen added ..

You tell Tilly what happened .. Or I will ...

Jane looked at cara for help ...

Cara?

What ? What can I do !

Jen you can't do this .. Please you don't understand what this would do to her ..

Jen walked closer to Jane ... Well it not me who's hurting her .. It's you .. She has a right to know .. And I'm not comfortable keeping your secret ...

So you tell her ... Or I do ..

As Jen left Jane slumped into her chair ...

What have I done ? She muttered to herself ... How could I have been so stupid ! ?

What ever possessed me ?

Uh hello " cara waved .. I'm sat here ..

Cara for fuck sake .. Jane shouted .. This isn't time off joking around .. Don't you know what this is gonna do ..

Tut Jen won't tell her " cara said .. She's full of shit..

How can you be so sure? Jane moaned .. What if she does .. ? How am I going to talk my way out of it?

Cara shrugged .. We'll lie .. If she tells her ., we say she's lying ..To .. I dunno .. Get back at me ..

Jane shook her head .. I can't do that .. If she asks me I can't lie ...

Shit ... Shit ...

Jane .. You can't tell her .. She'll dump you "

Ok .. Ok maybe she won't .. I'll explain that it was nothing .. Just me and you being idiots .. Drunk idiots ..

We might have to work on things but... I don't know .. Maybe it will be ok ..

If I'm honest .. It's been eating away at me ever since ...

Cara held her hands in the air " it's your funeral ...

Tilly's day was better then the one before ... Her smile had returned ..

Mmmmmml some one looks like they got laid last night .. And I don't mean by the wife" Ben whispered in his campest voice ...

Shhhhh" Tilly urged .. and no actually your wrong ..

What is was the wife ! ? Ben frowned ..

No .. Tilly said slapping him .. I didn't get laid .but .

Yesssss" Ben flicked flicked his fingers .. I love a but ... More ways then one " he winked ..

Tilly shook her head " gay people " she jested ..

Takes one to know no honey .. She teased .. So ? What's the but?

Well let's just say I think I've realised that there are something's in my life that are going to change ..

Mmmmhhhmmmmmm" Ben laughed ..

For know I need to keep it to myself though ..

Ben tutted " women .. He smiled .. Ok but when your up for sharing .. I'm your man ...

Your be the first to know ..

Liar .. He grinned as he nudged her ..

Jane sat quiet all day .. Which annoyed cara ..

Jane for fuck sake .. Jen won't tell her ...

Oh shut up cara" Jane spat .. She wouldn't have said it other wise .. Her and Tilly have got all friendly lately .. Of coarse she's going to tell her ..

I'm just gonna have to be honest ..

Can you really see her forgiving you ?

Jane grabbed her bag .. It's a chance I have no choice but to take .. She sulked waking out of the building ...

Fuck" cara moaned throwing her pen down ... Picking her phone up ..

Jen ... Listen .. You can't tell Tilly ..

Jen: and why not?

Cara: because it was a stupid mistake .. It ain't like Jane and I are having an affair is it?

Jen : cara you may think it's ok but I don't .. Tilly doesn't deserve this

Cara: oh so this is all for Tilly's benefit ? Nothing to do with the fact you want her for yourself ..

Jen: don't you dare turn this around on me ..

Cara: your not denying it ?

Jen: what I feel for Tilly had nothing to do with this ... She is a nice girl and deserves to know ..

Cara laughed " oh please .. This is all about you and what you want" you don't care Jane cheated on her .. You just want them to break up ..

Jen : I'm not the one that cheated .. Jane doesn't deserve her ..

Cara: and you do ? C'mon .. How long do you think it's gonna take for you to get bored of her ?

I know you ..

Jen : no .. No you don't .. I'm not the one that went with anything that paid me attention .. I'm not the one making out with girls in clubs .. That was you .. You don't care ..

You knew Jane was with Tilly and you still slept with her ..

Cara: your right . I don't care .. If they break up so what ? Don't effect my life .. But it will yours "

Jen : mine ?

Cara : yeah .. You think Tilly's gonna take kindly towards you when she finds out you knew ?

Jen shook her head .. So be it .. She can hate me .. But she stil needs to know .. Jane tells her or I do ..

Cara: she is gonna tell her .. But don't expect the red head to come running to you .. I'll make sure she knows you knew and that you've known for ages ...

Jen put the phone down .. Closing her eyes .. Oh god ..

Cara was right .. If Tilly finds out she knew it would all be over before it began ..

Tilly ..

I really need to see you ?what time do you finish ? X J

Sounds ominous .. :)

Everything ok ? X T

...

Can you come over ? X J

...

I can't tonight .. Something's come up .. Jane wants us to talk"

I think tonight's the night x T

Shit shit shit .. Jen groaned to herself...

After Tilly finished work she headed home to get changed .. All day she had been playing out the scene in her head .. What she was going to say to Jane ...

As she entered her flat she jumped out of her skin..

Shit Jane .., you scared me "

What you doing here ? I thought I was coming to yours ?

Jane didn't say a word she just sat starting at Tilly ..

You ok ? Tilly frowned.. You don't look so good ...

Tilly " Jane swallowed .. Sit down ...

We need to talk ...


	22. Chapter 22

Tilly frowned... She had never seen jane look so worried ..

Maybe tonight wasn't the best time for them to talk" Tilly thought..

Tilly took a seat like Jane asked... So what're wrong!?

Jane swallowed.. Her breathing slightly erratic... Ok..um...so I wanted us to talk..

Tilly nodded... Was Jane feeling the same way? Maybe now was the right time...

Yeah... Yeah we do...

Tilly firstly I want you to know that I love you... I love you more then anything else in this world.. And I know lately we've been going though a rough patch and it's been hard...

But well I know we can work it out ... I just know we can...

Tilly forced a smile...how was she going to find the courage to tell jane her feelings were shifting...

Tilly the last week months have been difficult and I know a lot of it's my fault.. Jane continued... I push you to commit to me when I can't even so much as be honest with my family about us... About me... Who I am...

Tilly sat silently... Feeling slightly bad that jane was beating herself up about their struggles when she knew deep down that their problems really started the day she met Jen...

Jane signed... I don't know... In theory it's easy.. I tell myself they love me and will Except what I am... But when it comes to it ... I'm just afraid...

It's ok jane" Tilly muttered... I get it... Your not ready...

Jane smiled... Tilly things have happened and I... I can't understand how or why... We've been together 2 years and I've always felt like we can get through anything... What ever is thrown at us we've always worked our way though it ... Together... Right?..

I believe that's still the case... Because what we have is special... It's pure and real..

Tilly frowned... What's going on jane? She asked confused as to why jane would be saying such things...

Jane got up from the chair and began pacing the floor... "Sometimes in life people do things that they can't control... Like it's not really them ya know?

They know it's wrong but it's like ... I don't know .. Some out of body experience ... Like your looking in rather then taking part...

What is? Tilly asked confused .. Who are you talking about ? What are you talking about?

I'm talking about me"jane sniffed... I talking about things I can't control ...things I've done...

Tilly rolled her eyes folding her arms... Jane I'm really getting tired of talking about your family.. You don't want to tell them' that's fine.. It's you who has to live the lie... If your ok to do so then...

I'm not talking about my family" jane interrupted .. I'm talking about...

As the moment came to admit her wrong doings jane froze... This was the moment that could change her life forever... Was she ready?'

Then what? Tilly asked getting annoyed

Jane shrugged... Do you love me Tilly?

Tilly shook her head walking into the kitchen... What sort if questions that?

A question I want the answer to" jane replied following the red head... I want to know if you love me...

Of coarse I do... Tilly sighed..

Like you use to? Jane asked... As much as you use to?

Tilly had her back to jane ... She closed her eyes giving herself a moment... This was it.. She had to tell the truth...

It's been hard... She answered... We've been strained... Things haven't be right between us...

Yes... Exactly .. That's exactly it.. Jane agreed... And when that happens all things go through a persons head... Ive been feeling really down about it lately..

Your always at work..

Tilly turned to jane" so our problems are my fault?

What? Jane frowned... No ..no of coarse not it's just...Tilly I feel like I'm losing you...

I feel lost... Like I'm in limbo...like I don't know what's happening .. Like your not with me..

So you are blaming me? Tilly sulked...

Jane shook her head sitting down at the kitchen table... I'm blaming myself... Tilly I've... I've done something stupid ... So stupid... Something that's way out of character for me...

I've been trying to work out how it happened... What I was thinking ...I feel sick every time I think about it...

Tilly's heart began to race... She could see from janes face this was serious...

Jane'?

Jane began to cry... I'm so sorry Tilly... I love you so much... Your my world... There is nothing I want more then you...

What have you done? Tilly asked...

Jane shook her head.. Her tears flowing uncontrollably... I'm so sorry..

Jane... Tilly said asked again... What are you sorry for?

I never meant for this to happen... She sobbed... I was so drunk .. I can't even remember it... Everything's a blur... It just ... I just I... I...

You what jane? Tilly shouted... What did you do?

I cheated .. Jane screamed ... I cheated...

Tilly's jaw dropped... Shock set in... At first she thought she heard wrong... Then the words slowly replayed in her head...

You... She swallowed the lump in her throat... You cheated ?

Jane placed her hands over her face... I'm so so sorry.. She's sobbed...

Tilly was confused ... Her girlfriend had revealed she's cheated and yet Tilly weirdly felt calm... There was no sick feeling... No knot in her stomach .. No tears .. No jealously...

Relief? Was that what's she was feeling? Had jane saved her from the job of ending the relationship ..

Talk to me Tilly... Came Janes voice ...please?

Who? Tilly asked..

Does it matter? Jane asked...

Yeah... Yeah it does...

This is my fault... I did this... I'm the one in wrong...

I said... Who with? Tilly fumed... Becoming angry as it sinks in... She had fought her physical urge for Jen for so long... It actually hurt .. And her feel was it was all for nothing

Tilly please...jane begged.. It meant nothing

I said who with? Tilly shouted ..

Cara... Jane cried..

Tilly gasped... Her heart hitting her stomach...

She began to laugh... No way... No ... You wouldn't..

I'm sorry... Jane sniffed...

When?

Jane knew she had to be honest if she had any chance if saving her relationship ..

At the wedding ..

When I was there? Tilly gasped..

Jane shook her head... The day...night after.. When you left... Jen left...

We were both pissed off... We got drunk it was... We were so so drunk... We both knew the next Day it was a mistake..

Oh...Tilly nodded.. That makes it alright then doesn't it?

Babe please... Jane begged reaching out to touch Tilly..

Don't you dare... Tilly warned... Don't you touch me...

How could you..? Her I understand... She'll go with anyone... But you ... Your meant to be in a relationship..

I know.. Jane cried... I was all over the place... I was lonely... I felt like I was losing you... I hardly saw you... You worked long hours... You were staying at your flat a lot ..

So your blaming me for the fact your a cheat? Tilly fumed..

No... No but... I was a mess... I needed something.. Someone.. You weren't there...

Oh.. Tilly laughed.. So you fancied a fuck and she was on hand to give it to you!?

Jane shook her head." I didnt mean that.. I meant emotionally.. ..

I'm lost Tilly... I'm lonely... Our sex life was non existent all most ... I felt like you weren't here... Like I'd lost you..

Tilly grab her keys off the side..."well you got one thing right... You have lost me... I really hope she was worth it...

Tilly no... Tilly please... Tilly.. Jane called out as she chased Tilly through the flat pulling her arm to stop her...

Babe please... Don't say that.. I'll do anything.. Anything you want...

No jane...

Please Tilly... I'll tell my parents about us... I'll call t hem right now.. She promised pulling out her phone ...

Why ? Because you don't want to lose me?... You had 2 years to tell them...

I'll do it.. I don't care what they think.. I just want us... I want you...I love you..

Did you love me while you were having sex with her? Tilly spat...

It meant nothing ..

Tilly pulled her arm out of her grasp... And yet because of it you've lost everything...

Don't be here when I get back... She added slamming the door behind her as she left.. Running down the stairs out the door into the fresh air..

The cold air hitting her like a fast speeding train...

As she climbs into her car she stares out on to the street... Tears running down her cheek...

Part of her was hurt jane had slept with cara... 2 years was a long time to spend with someone .. She did have feelings for her .. Maybe not like they were but never the less he feelings hadn't completely gone

The other part of her was angry .. Angry she had to fight what she craved... The urges she had to be close to Jen... The need to kiss her... To touch her... To make love to her... And she used all her energy to stop herself because she had to be faithful to jane...

Emotionally she had done wrong... She knew that...she knew jane had lost her mentally...

But physically she was still hers... Tilly wasn't prepared to physically hurt jane ...

She felt numb... Her mind couldn't register what had happened but she knew what the repercussions were...

Jane and Tilly were over...

Tilly began to drive off... Heading to the only place she wanted to be...


End file.
